31 of 365

Well, there goes the month of January!

This morning I felt a bit frustrated as I looked at my to-do list.  There are so many things that I have yet to begin and already 31 days of 2013 have passed me by. What's a girl to do?

First of all, I plan to celebrate the small wins, you know all of those baby steps towards the big goal at the end. It is a trick of the devil to make us feel that we haven't really arrived or reached success if we don't have several dollars in our pockets, fancy cars, or a reality show (okay so maybe I went too far with that one).  We all have individual goals and assignments. We can't compare our path to that of someone else.

Focus on you and your life and everything will fall into place. Have faith that what you desire will come to pass and watch God work.  "Because of your faith, it will happen." Matthew 9:29 That is God's promise.

Here's to the next 31 days of 2013!

Christy

Locked in, but almost Hooked up! Cont...

Who was it?

I don’t know, some guy I’d never seen before, but was definitely attracted to. He was probably about 6’3 or 6’4. I could tell because while I was inside of the freezer I had managed to get on my tip toes to reach the Lean Cuisine Thai spring rolls putting my height at about 5’9.  What did I do when I saw him, you ask? Nothing.  I opened the freezer door again and pretended to read the label of the frozen meals until I figured out my next move. 

Through the glass I could see his long sleeve black under armor shirt and grey sweatpants (Thank you Jesus for pants like that!) pass behind me.  When I turned around he was nowhere to be found.  At this point, I had two choices: (1) I could grab the spring rolls and head for the self-checkout or (2) I could grab the spring rolls and walk to the back cooler for a gallon of soy milk which would allow me the opportunity to see Mr. Black shirt and Grey pants again.  Of course I chose #2 because out of the six months that I have been shopping at this local Wal-Mart I had never seen N-E-Body remotely attractive and so now after having recently escaped from what could have been a life or death situation, God had blessed with me some eye candy that was so sweet that I got a cavity the moment I saw his face. 

For the record, most single females would have gone with the #2 option. This type of thing happens all of the time.  When we see a guy that is cute and if time permits we conveniently place ourselves in his path to “get a closer look” or to give him an opportunity to make his move. 

Right after the breakfast cereal and just before the paper goods I spotted Mr. Black shirt and grey pants. Again, we locked eyes and even though I was looking for him I was startled when I finally saw his face.  I headed straight for the milk cooler and took longer than normal to locate the Great Value light original soy milk and just as I opened the cooler to retrieve my dose of dairy, I saw his reflection through the cooler door.  “YES!” I thought. “And I didn’t even have to go looking for him again.” I grabbed the milk and began walking in the direction of Mr. Black shirt.  BINGO!  I spotted him on the wine aisle. I decided it was now time for me to head out. I was too shy to say anything to him. If he and I were to bump into each other again it would have to be fate and not based on me and my antics. 

I started walking towards the front of the store and then there he was again in my peripheral.  I couldn't have him walking behind me.  I wanted to be the stalker not the stalked.  I dipped into the soup aisle and studied the Campbell’s chicken noodle soup can until I saw the black and grey disappear down the main aisle.  Okay now I was trying to avoid him.  I didn’t want to come across as a stalker (blank stare), so when I saw that he had made his way to the express line and I stepped slowly towards the self-checkout.  Just as I walked up he turned his cart from the express line and headed for the same self-checkout line as me.  Again, we shared a friendly glance and I even gave off a smile this time.  Seeing that there was only one free lane open he said to me with a smile, “You can go ahead.”  I managed to get out a very shy, “Thanks.” I moved quickly towards my lane.  We didn’t lock eyes again. We both worked quietly scanning our items and paying for our groceries.  Grabbing my receipt I walked away slowly giving myself an opportunity to see which door he would exit out of.  I walked briskly through the rain to my car smiling the entire way.  As I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw Mr. Grey and Black again loading a large SUV.  If I wasn’t so shy I probably would have spoken to him. 

So, the moral of this very colorful story, sometimes God holds you up. Sometimes He places you in a situation beyond your control so that you can take a moment to enjoy the simple act of doing nothing. He also gives you this time to reflect and focus on the things that matter most.  Usually after one of these tests there is something sweet waiting for you on the other end. 

My evening would have ended quite differently had I not been locked inside the house. I would have eaten too many carbs, I would have missed Mr. Black and Grey, and most of all I would have missed out on sharing my story with you good people.   

Locked in but almost Hooked Up!

I found myself locked inside of my apartment the other night. I had only been home long enough to change clothes, order some wings from Wing Stop and grab the overdue Redbox DVDs to return to Wal-Mart. I went through my normal exit-the-house routine grabbing my keys, turning off the light in the kitchen, and finally unlocking the door.  When I tried unlocking the deadbolt the handle of the lock turned but the deadbolt scowled at me as if to say, “Where do you think you’re going?”  I tried twisting the lock a few more times, but nothing. Luckily it was only about 5:30, so the main office in my building was still open.  Amy answered with such enthusiasm, but when she heard me say, “I am locked inside of my apartment!” Her tone quickly changed.  She paged our maintenance guy and he was there in less than ten minutes.  His suggestion was for me to unscrew the deadbolt lock first and then he would attempt to remove the lock from the other side.  I only had the flathead screwdriver (two notches) instead of the other one with the four grooves which made the unscrewing process very tedious. Any who, I kept at it until I was finally able to unscrew the lock.  Unfortunately for me the deadbolt still wouldn’t budge.  The maintenance guy sent for another guy with a drill to take his place.  Bless his heart. He worked diligently, but he didn’t speak very much English.  After successfully removing the entire key lock from the door, he peeped his head inside the bottom lock which was now only a gaping hole and screamed, “Can you unlock?” So I peeped my head through the same gaping hole and said, “No! It’s the deadbolt.” I gestured to the top and finally he realized what I was saying.  He went back to work.

As he continued to drill and hammer away, I thought, “Okay, God so what’s the lesson in this?” You know there’s always a reason for everything.  Since my Wing Stop and Wal-Mart trip had been temporarily delayed I decided that I would at least make use of my time at home.  My first thought was to work on the project schedule that my Portfolio Manager needed for Friday or I could work on my vision board from 2012 which had been tucked away in my guest room closet since this time last year. I had just left the office, so I chose the vision board. 

It’s amazing how unbelievably calm I was acting about the entire thing.  I kept telling myself, “Everything happens for a reason. I’ll figure it out later on.”  After ripping through a few back issues of TIME and US Weekly (I still don’t know how I ended up with that magazine), the maintenance guy gave the door three loud and quick taps with his hammer and BAM my door came flying open.  I have never been so happy to see the outside of my door!  He quickly replaced the bottom lock in silence giving me a new key.  The both of us gestured “thank you” and “you’re welcome”. 

Next I was faced with another dilemma; lock the only lock that remained or say a quick prayer of protection and leave the door unlocked. I said a prayer and left the bottom lock unlocked just long enough for me to grab my car keys, new house key, and the Redbox DVDs and again set out for Wal-Mart.  I did, however, lock the door behind me. I would rather be locked out then locked in. 

When I reached Wal-Mart I returned the Redbox DVDs and picked up a few more.  As I waited for the DVDs to pop out like pop tarts from the side of the kiosks I noticed an older gentleman kind of checking me out.   I gave him a quick nonchalant smile and thought, “Yep, I still got it!” 

Since I was abandoning the idea of having Wingstop for dinner, I decided to grab one of those pop-in-the-microwave healthy dinner meals. 

I must have stood with the Lean Cuisine freezer door open for over fifteen minutes trying to decide which one of the sometimes bland meals I would select. If you’ve ever stood with one of those freezer doors open you’d probably noticed that the glass fogs up after awhile.  This is what happened to me. That is why I could not see who was entering the aisle from the other end.  Giving up completely, I shut the freezer door and there he was, standing there between the T.G.I.F frozen dinners for two and the Stouffers meals.

To be continued...

Happy New Year

I didn't make any resolutions this year.  I did, however, decide that I needed to begin living my life as if all of the things that I have asked God for or that God has promised me are already here.

I realized that although I am not married and I do not have children it is no longer acceptable for me to live like I am single.  I actually have to cook real meals, get enough sleep (whatever that is), be more active, keep  an organized house and stuff like that. It's been going okay for the most part, but in the midst of "living" I can't help but to feel the loneliness that singleness brings.  I have found myself often being angry with God for being silent or for making me wait so long.  That reminds me of the ketchup commercial from the 80's.  The guy that decided to wait for the ketchup to drip from the bottle got the girl in the end.  So, here I stand posted, waiting for the imaginary ketchup to drip from bottle and receive the prize that waits for me in the end.

Somehow I thought that I was the only one experiencing these thoughts and these emotions, but after talking to a few girlfriends I realized that I wasn't alone. All of us were single (unmarried but dating), successful in our careers, have a relationship with God, but yet feel as if life has yet to begin.

Does the start of life or living begin when you say those two magic words surrounded by your family, friends, and a bunch of free loading extras? Does your life begin when you finally hit the six figure dollar amount at your corporate job? Does life begin when you bring another life into the world?

What's the real answer to this question? Why does it always seem that we're waiting for something in life instead of just living each day?

I'll continue to ponder on these thoughts... In the meantime, I wish you a Happy New Year.  I hope that your 2013 will be filled with new steps and new discoveries.

Christy