Transformation

It is the last day of February.  Just a little while ago we were toasting in a new year and promising ourselves that this year would be the best year of our lives. How’s it going so far? Still on track? Need a little motivation? Today’s post is all about transformation.  

Webster’s Dictionary defines transformation as: a complete or major change in someone's or somethings appearance, form, etc.  Transformation, in my opinion, also deals with the inside.  There's a popular hashtag on social media these days called #TransformationTuesday where a picture on one side may contain a younger photo of an individual and the picture on the other side will contain an older more wiser photo.  This hashtag can also be seen when comparing weight loss results or hair growth in the natural hair world. No matter where the transformation occurs, the good news is that it CAN happen.  Where you are today is not where you have to remain. 

I believe that all of us have a desire to be the best version of ourselves as we can be.  In order to accomplish this goal, we must work on every part of ourselves. The physical, emotional, and spiritual parts of ourselves need attention. 

So where do you begin?   We live in a time where information is literally seconds away. We can type just about anything in the Google search menu and feel that we are experts on the subject moments later.  There are several tools and tips provided by knowledgeable men and women who have done extensive amounts of research all to ensure that you avoid certain missteps in your life that they have encountered.  

Physical 

Just about every dieting book, blog post, video, or plan will tell you to first speak with your doctor before beginning any new programs.  This is very important.  You may think that the extra pounds were brought on due to your stressful job, change in activity, or simply eating too much, but there are several factors that can and will cause weight gain.  Speak with your doctor about all of the changes that have occurred in your life over the past 9-12 months. These changes may have a direct impact on how you are feeling physically.  Your doctor may recommend that you meet with a nutritionist or simply remove certain foods from your diet (i.e. fast foods, sweets, etc.)  Getting yourself in tip top physical state will help with your emotional and spiritual needs. 

Emotional/Mental 

Have you ever eaten an entire box of cookies and then all of a sudden you think of that one relationship that just didn't work, how horrible he/she treated you, how you shouldn't have wasted your time with him/her, and then you find yourself crying on your couch for the memories to just please hurry up and go away?  Or maybe that is just me.  Just think, all of these thoughts could have been avoided by not eating the cookies.  Your diet impacts your emotions, but also the things and people that you have around you.  Is your house cluttered?  Do you have a laundry list of things to get done but not enough time to do them? When you enter your home do you want to run in the opposite direction kicking and screaming?  If so, then perhaps it is time to transform your personal space.  Your home should be your sanctuary.  Everything should have its place and the things that do not have a place do not belong.  All of these things can make you emotional and in turn drive you to make not so good choices when it comes to what you drink and eat. Is your kitchen clean and tidy?  Does your bedroom closet keep you up at night?  Good Housekeeping and several other magazines offer tips on removing clutter from your home. The Container Store is the perfect place to find space saving storage units for every room of the house. (I have more products from this store then I would like to admit.) Tackle one room at a time.  If you begin today you will be one day closer to reaching your goal.  Ask yourself as you prepare to purge items from your personal space, "Could I live without it?"  If the answer is yes, then let it go. Give it away to Good Will, Salvation Army, Arms of Hope or any organization in your community that takes lightly used items.  What you are holding on to may be the blessing that someone has been waiting for. 

Watch out for things that you read, watch, and listen to. Social media and reality television has a way of making a regular everyday person feel as if their life has little to no meaning. If an individual cannot afford brand named clothing and accessories, cars, or jewelry then that individual feels insignificant.  This in turn drives the regular everyday person to spend lump sums of money that they do not have in order to prove their significance. This behavior leads to increased debt, drug and alcohol abuse, and it also ruins relationships.  Turn off the TV.  Close the gossip magazine.  Delete the application from your phone.  You are beautifully and wonderfully made for God's glory.Nowhere in the bible does it say that in order to enter into heaven one must have a certain amount of social status, money, or other things that are materialistic.  Our emotions are impacted when we try to live up to unrealistic expectations of others.  Reality television sucks and it is anything but reality.  

Spiritual 

I have to admit that I struggle in my spiritual walk. I find myself from time to time saying, "Did I remember to say my grace before dinner?"  or "What exactly did the preacher preach about on Sunday?"  I know that I am not alone.  Your spiritual walk goes much further than praying before meals and showing up at church.  It is about having a relationship with God and knowing that the relationship with Him should come before any and everything else in your life.  If you don't feel connected to God, then you may need to do a spiritual transformation. 

I use to struggle with how to get back to that "sweet spot" with God.  You know the time when scriptures seemed to wake you in the morning, hymns danced around in your head all day long, and God was the last thought on your mind as you closed your eyes at night. 

To transform spiritually does not mean that you have to go away to a wellness facility to completely block out the world.  You can simply decide that from the time your feet hit the floor in the morning to give God all of the Glory.  Thank Him in advance for the people and situations that you will encounter because all of it is a part of His divine order for your life.  Get into the habit of thinking about what you have instead of what you do not have.  Thank God for delivering you from addictions, financial setbacks, heartbreaks, and anything that made you feel as if your life was in trouble. 

Be transformed today; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  

Be blessed! 

Christy

Love makers and Heart breakers

To You from Me - Part II

To you

I wish that I had a giant eraser to erase the hours, days, minutes, that I spent thinking of you. Although in reality it was only a few weeks I can’t help but to feel that my time would have been better spent focusing on the plans that God has laid out for my life.

Am I angry? Am I sad? I’m not really sure how I feel. I’m just numb. I feel nothing. I keep replaying your voice to my ears as you struggled to find the words to prevent my heart from hurting. Although I appreciate your honesty it doesn’t take away the sting. Perhaps I am a bit angry though. Angry that God allowed me to feel again after so long only to feel nothing again. I’m starting to question the direction that I’ve received from Him over the years. If He truly loved me, why does He continue to allow me to feel so much pain? What lesson is in all of this for me?

In a matter of seconds I was transformed back to the little girl, in that little room, in that little town trying to be somebody for everybody except the me that I was created to be. Stupid is how I feel. Dumb that I allowed myself to fall so deep, so quick for someone who obviously felt differently.

I remember the silence of the past suitors whose immaturity caused them to leave me breathless and hopeless, eyes filled with tears, and an empty heart. But you… you have left me numb. Perhaps all of the tears were wasted on those from my past because for the life of me I can’t will myself to release not a one. Even as I watched Martin speak and Oprah give a stellar performance I was unmoved, unbothered, and showed no emotion when all around me there were tear stained eyes and weeping.

Is it my fault? Should I appreciate your tactic and use it as a lesson learned and begin to transform my life into the life that I was meant to live; esthetically pleasing, submissive, and with a good heart. I’m a good person. You reminded me. Being good left me here…alone…numb.

I wish that I could go back in time to before I accepted your request to enter into my life again. I wish that I was what you wanted and that zip codes didn’t matter, but I’m not and they do.

I can’t help but to wonder if the spirits made you do all the things and say all the things that you said there where tribes once fought and for twelve years men were slaves.

Your news didn’t come by surprise, actually I expected you to make a grand announcement when we were still there above the alligators and the crawfish, and the band. I could feel it on the second day. You attributed your behavior to the lingering of the spirits, but deep down I knew the truth. I tricked myself into thinking that finally I was meeting someone who met me where I was, who didn’t expect anything else, and someone who saw the me that I didn’t see. How foolish of me.

I was blinded by the idea of a you and me or a me and you that I didn’t see what was standing right in front of me; a representative. These words aren’t meant to hurt you in any way, but to heal me. I should have known that when no plans were made past day three and the silence on your end became deafening that it was an anomaly. I can’t really express the way that I feel. I can’t find the words to say to you or to anyone about how you left me there on the corner of shoulda and woulda, but didn’t bother to pick me up for the ride. I hope that you find what you’re looking for. 

You may think that it was your conscience that led you to make that call that day while I headed north with rain all around me, but I think that it was my God. I believe in His divine order so even though I am very hurt right now my faith in Him tells me to believe that He has something better in store for me. My God is jealous and I am awfully special to Him.

I do appreciate your honesty because I am sure that it was hard for you to say the things that you said, but trust me it was harder for me to hear them. It is unfortunate that I am not where and who you want me to be. I can only be me and I can only have people around me who like me just the way that I am. I am imperfect and I am okay with that. It took me years to love me and avoid being what everyone else wanted. I was rooting for you. I was. My desire is still for you to be great and sh!+. Maybe I’ll see you around.

From me 

Love makers and Heart breakers

To you from me - Part I

To You

“Literally knock me over God” was my only request.  “I think I’m ready to love again” I said to a friend. It was as if my words sent a whisper to your ears and just like that you appeared out of nowhere.  Now here is where I almost lost my balance.  I struggle daily to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground. Knowing the errors of my past I busied myself with mundane tasks in order to avoid the thoughts of a you and me or a me and you.

I sought counsel from the source that I have known about my entire life, but only recently did HE and I develop a strong relationship.  Once there I promised not to lose myself, I promised to remain true to my goals, my values, and all of the plans already laid out for my life. I interviewed you to make sure that you weren't that measly heart-breaker rearing his ugly head again. You passed the test, but still I found myself afraid.

I want my next to be my last, so you have to understand my uncertainty.  Then there’s the subject of what we believe but cannot see.  Although in my eyes neither is greater than the other, it weighs heavy on my heart. What will our foundation be?  What will we teach our children; our beautiful children with your eye lashes and my lips?

Our lives separately are not news worthy, but combine the two and they are like a major motion picture. But I’m rooting for you still.  What if we created our own religion and called it Love?  Then we could teach our children to love every man. Our children could see how a perfect artist created an imperfect world. This religion called Love would allow you to enjoy the most beautiful part of me and after seven years I could return the favor. 

What if we could create a world where there were no titles?  You were simply you and I was me. There was no black or white, rich or poor. No fancy clothes, jobs, or cars, just two people studying and swimming in the deep in of Love. Lying in a sea of white from moon to moon with you is more fulfilling than any stroll along a beach or trip across the seas. If I add one more roman number to my skin it becomes you. The thought of your touch sends waters rushing to the most beautiful part of me.

There’s this energy, this magnetic thing that is drawing me close to you. I can’t put it into words. I just know that it’s different.  I’m spoiled. Now I will always expect to be treated as if no one else is around. Now I expect to be held like time stands still. Now I expect to be looked at as if my regular face brings new life.  You have to understand that all of these things are foreign to me.

So what do we do? 

 We could seize the moment, enjoying stolen kisses, glances filled with butterflies, and hearing the murmured beat of our hearts while our brown skin mixes to the point where I can’t tell where yours ends and mine begins. We could keep this up for ten years. They will find you lifting me up and I right by your side as our individual goals come to fruition and our names are raised above our heads showcasing the sacrifices of our mothers.  Will it matter then to what we believe?

All I know is that I want you and it scares the sh!+ out of me.  I wish I could bottle up your kisses and sip on them whenever I was thirsty for you.  I tried my best to memorize your face but all I can remember is how you made me feel there in that place where tribes once fought and for twelve years men were slaves.

 You’ve ruined me for all other men so you can either take me with you on this journey called life or drop me off at the corner of shoulda and woulda.  We can either do something or nothing at all.

But for now I’ll just wait. Wait to see what your conscience and my God suggest that we do. I’m cheering for you to be great and sh!+.  

From me

Sister

It feels so great to have a sister.
A friend to laugh you through the pain.
Such a pleasure to have a sister.
Someone to dance beside you in the rain.

No miss treatin you my sister.
No callin you out of your name.
Instead, I'll encourage you my sister.
And I know you'll do the same.

When the worries of the world get you down,
no need to fret, I'll be coming around.
To hold your hand. To wipe your tears.
To hurt my knees praying you through your fears.

We help each other, my sister we do.
To serve a larger purpose than just us two.
There is no other, my sister it's true.
That's why I treasure and care about you.

When death calls for you my sister, I'll look to your family and say,
life owes her naught, she's lived her day.


Dedicated to all the lovely ladies of AKA! #107 #J15