From: Me
I tried to
avoid you at all cost. I would duck and dodge whenever you came around. I spent most of my time at Mr. Stewart’s
house which was near where you and your friends got your exercise. I was determined not to let you distract me,
so I read COBOL and drank JAVA because I couldn't get passed the VISUAL BASIC signs that you were not right for me.
I spent my
nights like a mad scientist in the lab researching code after code filling my
brain with experiment after experiment thinking that in all this time you had
forgotten me. Then one night after
hanging with J.T. and his friends there you were standing somewhere between
Saturn and Uranus. I used the moon as my nightlight as I walked slowly towards
you. “Why am I so nervous?” I whispered as my steps drew me closer to
you. You were so suave and
debonair. I smiled. You smiled. Just
like that I got caught up. As we engaged
in small talk I heard a voice come from behind me. Oops! I was just like you; a heart breaker. How could I have forgotten about him? He hung with Mrs. Adam’s sons just like you.
He was cool and all, but he didn’t do it for me like you. So I stood there; between my future and my
past. I was speechless; a writer without words.
Karma is something else. I tell
you the truth. This time I didn’t pray
for you to be removed from me. Nope. I
had become greedy. I already had my
cake, but I had to eat it too. So God
took you from me and he took him too.
And there I stood between Saturn and Uranus looking up at the moon
outside of Mr. Stewart’s house…alone and confused.
I had to get
my weight down, so I changed my diet to grilled salmon and collard greens and
an occasional piece of hot water corn bread.
I hung with a new crowd to help me forget about how you swept me off my
feet. Old man Wood (son of the late Mr.
Jones) let me study in his backyard from time to time. A lot of my new friends hung out there so it
was cool. We would sing, dance, and have
all types of fun. One night we took our
fun to the grave digger’s house. We sang
that song by Envogue. Then I saw you from across the room. Had you been there the entire time? I
pretended not to see you, but that didn’t stop you from sending a message through
the burning sand that rested beneath our feet.
I planned my escape looking for every possible exit. I didn’t trust myself around you. You were toxic. You were dangerous and I was
like a kid who knew better than to touch a hot stove. Again, I looked for a way
of escape. Outside of the grave digger’s house there was a bus marked BV North
side. I didn’t know exactly where it was
taking me, but I knew that it would be far from you. So I took that bus. And I found myself in a different world than
where I came from, but somehow you still managed to find me. I had only told a few people of my
whereabouts but your persistence gave you the upper hand. It was easy to fight
you off while I was away, but when I came back to Webster there you were. I mean everywhere I turned you were
there.
I stuck to
my diet adding in some black beans from the dynasty garden. My new friends kept me pretty busy here and
pretty busy there, but you were able to still track me down. I would run and hide but you had connections
everywhere. You even got cool with Mrs.
Adam’s sons even though you lived several blocks away. You would wait for me in
front of Alma’s restaurant when I got off of work. There was nowhere to run so I entertained you
just as the news reporter for the Gramblinite passed by. He had definitely seen us there together, but
we weren’t really together. Were we? I
was confused. I ran back to Beverly Hill’s
and left you to deal with the media. Someone must have tweeted our sighting because
before the moon showed its face that night I was an outcast. So I ran away like
Rihanna did when Chris rearranged her face. I hid from the possibility of me
and you because the reality of it was you were caught up and lost in the
sauce. You slipped up and slipped in
mannnn what the heck were you thinking?
“Just
breathe.” I told myself. I felt half crazy like that song by
Musiq. But no matter how far I traveled
you always found your way back to me.
Again, I prayed. “God,
pleasssseee take him away from me!” I had given you too much power. God was silent. It became harder and harder for me to get you
out of my head. I had been called
everything but a child of God. I prayed
harder and harder every day and then God answered my prayer. You were
transferred to another territory which left me to pick up the pieces.
I spent my days
and nights hiding from the lime light waiting for the day to walk on the
platform where Clinton once stood. I
avoided everyone and everything until my friend Dorothy invited me to a toga
party. This is where I saw you
again. You were some type of entertainer
keeping the crowd going. Your legs had
been broken and your skin burned from the sun. You
called me “Miss Attitude”, not realizing that it was because of you that I had
this attitude. I trusted no one and
nothing as far as I could see it. While
we chatted outside of the toga party the BV North side bus pulled up. Before I boarded I wanted to spend more time
with you. You watched as I waved my
pretty hair dancing to Sean Paul. You
became intimidated when I told you “I ain’t neva scared.” I had been through a
lot. Nothing and no one could get to me.
I packed my bags for my trip, but not before you taught me about herbal
essence, candy coated hearts, mild mannered blacks, and the natural fragrances
that roamed through the air. I liked
you, but I could never tell you that.
The last time I tore my walls down they caved in on me and it took me
years before I could climb out of the debris.
So, I took the BV bus and never looked back.
To be
continued…
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