30 in 3

I have set a goal to read 30 books over the next 3 months.  The number 30 has no true significance except that it was the first number that popped into my head.  The same goes for the number 3.  As for my overall purpose: arrogance/conceit would be the first thought for some, but actually as I write, I have three book shelves filled to the max with books that I've purchased over the years.  Most of these books have yet to see the light of day, so I decided instead of adding to my family of books (by purchasing more), why not get to know the family a little better.  Publish This Book was the first family member to “entertain” (see book review below).  I selected this book out of the others based on a conversation that I had with myself last weekend.  “Christy, if you’re really serious about this writing thing, you’re gonna have to DO SOMETHING. Change only comes to those who act accordingly”, said the little voice in my head.  As I walked over to my bookshelf, the title of the book glared back at me… and so it begins.

Review of: Publish This Book

I remember grabbing Publish This Book during the going out of business sale at Borders along with several other books on writing, publishing, and editing. I had no idea what to expect, but for three to four days, when I should have been sleeping, eating, working out, doing actual work at work, or writing my own darn manuscript, I found myself captivated by the wonderful writings of one Stephen Markley. 

I have read several memoirs over the years; however, never have I felt as if I am walking through the coming of age story right along with the protagonist.  Publish This Book is honest, brilliant, ridiculously funny, educational (I learned a lot about the human anatomy), and seductively amusing (not sure what point I was trying to make here but it sounds delightful).

As an aspiring writer, I found myself going back to chapters like “How to get rejected?” for pointers on writing a good chapter outline.  Also, thanks to Markley, I am having a particularly difficult time writing without using footnotes that provide back stories instead of actual references.  Honestly, I often skip the footnotes in most books, but again, thanks to Markley, I found myself searching for them page after page and was often disappointed when I had to go a page or two without them.

Everyone won’t get the humor of this book. Those people likely take themselves too seriously. However, if you’re a little on the fun and adventurous side, then you will be laughing out loud (I thought about using the acronym but...) throughout the 469 pages. If the number of pages scares you, don’t fret it goes down smooth.  Before you know it you’ll be nearing the end and longing for more of Markley’s autobiographical digressions.  

I have to admit that after reading the chapter on “Sarah” I put the book down for two days or so before reading the remaining chapters.  Kudos to Markley for being transparent and capturing such a heartwarming story about true friendship.

One last note; look out for sparkling pearls of wisdom (which is surprisingly impressive since Markley was only 24/25 yrs of age at the time) about love, politics, religion and of course writing and publishing a book. Cheers and Enjoy!!!

Oh yeah!  I should also add that I was so motivated by this book that I wrote 500 words the first evening (probably not that impressive, but it's 500 more than I wrote the previous day) as well as completed a 24 Chapter Outline!! Sometimes we just need a little push.  Don't be shocked if that push or motivation comes in a very unlikely package. :) 

Next up – Why We Can’t Wait by MLK… Every morning after I began reading Publish This Book the little voice in my head echoed “Why We Can’t Wait”, so naturally I chose this as my next read for 30 in 3.  Perhaps at the end of the three months I’ll have a divine message that I was able to transcribe from all the books that I’ve neglected over the years.  Stay tuned!  

Pearls of Wisdom

I had a conversation with my mom the other day around finding true happiness in my day-to-day life.  “ Shouldn't I feel happy or passionate about what I do every day?” I asked her.  She read a few passages from the T.D. Jakes book “Life Overflowing: 6 Pillars for Abundant Living.”

In the first chapter, “The God of All Riches”, Rev. Jakes shares that presently there is a large percentage of us who believe that acquiring a great amount of wealth is the key to happiness.  However, we see in the news everyday how the most wealthy men and women are taking their own lives because they have become depressed or unhappy.  The same goes for their children and grandchildren and before long it becomes a cycle.  True wealth consists of things eternal not temporary.

He further explained that we must connect to God who is our source and avoid all images of material wealth.  This connection to God is the most important piece of the puzzle.  Pastor Jakes shares Ephesians 1:1-3 which reads, “Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints which are Ephesus, and to the faithful in Christ Jesus: Grace be to you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. “

[Excerpt from “Life Overflowing: 6 Pillars for Abundant Living”] Paul considers the foundation for all of our blessings in Christ to be this fact: God is blessed.  He is not frail, impoverished, or impotent.  He has every resource at His disposal, both things see and unseen.  Nothing lies beyond His ownership. God only temporarily allows man to use these resources. 

After she was done reading, I asked her to put it in her own words and tell me what I should take away from the lesson. 

[Paraphrase]” Some people get caught up in material things and possessions here on earth, but that’s not what living is all about.  We own nothing. God allowed your brother Chris to be in my life for 27 years, but I realized He loved Chris so much that He wanted him for his own.  So you see Chris had to die. He lived his life and completed his assignment.  In a nutshell, nothing belongs to us… even the lives that we bring into this world.  Everything we see and have is temporary, so we mustn't tarry when it comes to the assignments that God has for us. We must also realize that our source is Jesus Christ and through Him anything is possible.  If you want something in life, you have to go after it.  You can’t let fear keep you from moving forward.  Take a leap of faith and walk in expectancy knowing that God will be with you along the way.  You should be careful, however, to ensure that your wants/needs are in alignment with what God has for you.  That is where true happiness lies, but you can’t sit back and wait for life to happen. You can’t sale yourself short on the dreams that are in your heart. There may be things that have to be removed from your life in order for you to move to your next level.  To gain true happiness, place your trust in God and allow Him to direct you throughout your day. “

I went back to work that day with a new sense of happiness.  My mother is so strong and that day I took the strength from her words and T.D. Jakes’ book to give me the push that I needed.

Don’t wait for life to happen. Don’t look to material things to make you happy.  Go to God who is your source…that is where true happiness and wealth reside.

Be Blessed,

Christy

REPOST: Discerning of Spirits

To another the ability to discern and distinguish between [the utterances of true] spirits [and false ones].  (1 Corinthians 12:10) 

I believe the discerning of spirits is an extremely valuable gift, and I encourage you to desire and develop it.  Some people say that the discerning of spirits gives people supernatural insight into the spiritual realm when God allows it.  Many also believe that discerning of spirits is a gift given so we can know the true nature of a person or a situation.  Our world is full of deception and many people are not who they appear to be.  The gift of discerning of spirits helps us see behind the mask people often wear so we can know what is really going on.  The gift also helps us sense when something is a good thing or a person has a good heart.

Dave and I have seen this gift work many times when hiring people to work in our ministry.  Many times, people have seemed qualified, capable, dedicated, and "perfect" for the jobs for which they applied. I remember one specific occasion when we met with someone and everyone involved thought we should hire him, but I had a nagging feeling in my heart that we should not.  We hired him anyway and he did nothing but cause trouble.  I allowed my reasoning - thinking he would work out because his resume was exactly what we wanted - to overtake my discernment, and I wish I had not.

The Spirit of God lives in our hearts and speaks to our hearts, not our heads.  His gifts are not intellectual or operative in our minds; they are spiritual and they operate in our spirits.  We must follow what we sense in our spirits, not what we think in our minds should be right.  This is why God gives us discernment.

GOD'S WORDS FOR YOU TODAY: Learn to discern and don't make decisions based only on what you see and think.

From the book Hearing from God Each Morning by Joyce Meyer. Copyright © 2010 by Joyce Meyer. Published by FaithWords. All rights reserved.

         For Shelia…

As you enter into this new season of your life,

Embrace the greatness of becoming a wife.

This role isn’t for everyone, as you very well know.

God selected His special daughters a long time ago.

There are many lessons that you will learn along the way.

Just look to God, He will be with you every day.

No matter what situations or circumstances you may face.

God has given you the endurance to finish the race.

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?

Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

The noble wife is who we all aim to be.

I see her in you, I see her in me.

You will soon be called wife, but the list doesn’t stop there.

Sister, friend, and counselor, you have many hats to wear.

God will give you the space and the time,

To wear them all well within His design.

May your smile continue to light up every room that you enter.

And may your deep soulful laugh help us all to remember;

What a blessing it is to be a part of your life;

How awesome your husband will feel to call you his wife.

So look to the hills, which is where your help comes from.

Fast and pray, that’s the rule of thumb.

Remember to love through the good and the bad.

In times when you’re happy and times when you’re sad.

The true test of faith comes through times of despair,

However, love never fails so you need not have a care.

May God be with you and your husband-to-be.

May you have many, many, years of marital glee!

Christy Hamlin

November 5, 2012

31 Letters – Letter #31

“The final letter”

Whew! It’s finally here; the final letter.  I have to admit that I didn't think that I would be able to write 31 letters.  On October 1^st I made a public announcement (via this blog) that I would write 31 letters over the next 31 days. I had no clue what I would write about or if anyone would read what I had to say.  The nerves are gone.  I've crossed a major hurdle.  Ten years ago I was two afraid to even mention that writing was something that I enjoyed.  Writing was and is my therapy.  It’s nothing like getting lost in story or a poem or whatever.  Words hurt, but they can also heal. 

I’m 28 days into 31-years-old and already I've made a huge accomplishment.  In the past, I've written a page here and a page there over the course of a few days.  I've even written a draft of a complete novel, however, I did so over the course of a year or two.  Whether you guys realize it or not you held me indirectly accountable for seeing this writing exercise through to Letter #31.  There were many times when I wanted to give up or simply just sleep, but I knew that I wouldn't be keeping my word if I backed down, so I pushed through.  Even after taking a little break for Homecoming I had to work even harder to catch up for fear of letting you down.  So, thank you for taking this journey with me.

As I reflect over the last 31 days, there were a lot of lessons learned.  First and foremost trust was a recurring theme.  Someone once told me, “Love man, but trust God.”  Often times along the way I placed my trust in man and ended up feeling hurt and disappointment.  I had to trust myself and my abilities and not worry about other people’s opinion of me.  Everybody has an opinion.  Just about everyone uses words to get those opinions out.  God is the only one who can judge so I couldn't let what I thought people would think or say about me interrupt my assignment.

In the past 31 days, it has been difficult to concentrate on anything outside of writing.  One day soon God will give me the space and opportunity to focus full-time on writing.  In the meantime, I gotta hustle like everyone else.

After trust the next theme of the month was love.  Everyone and everything needs love.  I opened the month with showing love to my little potted house plant. Which I would like to announce has several new leaves.  I didn't realize how many wonderful people I would meet along the way simply by making a decision to show love.  Some days I found it difficult to find a candidate and other days I had a hard time narrowing my picks down to a single person.  I’m ending the game with showing myself love.  It’s not arrogance or conceit.  I love me or am learning to love me as God has created me to be.  What I came to understand is that in order to love others you must first love yourself.  And in order to love yourself, you must first love God…for God is love.  With Him everything makes sense. 

I have to admit that every day over the past 31 days hasn't been great.  There were times when I was angry with God for putting in certain situations or allowing me to endure repeated hurt and pain from people who I considered friends or family.  It was difficult to endure the hurt because I felt like I was trying to do some good in the world.  I honestly thought that I was making a difference, so I couldn't understand why God would punish me. 

He wasn’t punishing me.  He was making me better.  I am a year older and a year wiser.  God has already seen my strength in times of trouble during the ages of 21 and 30, so now the challenges are getting a little bit harder.  The road is getting a little bit tougher. 

I was reminded of two bible stories:  The story of Job and the story of Joseph.  Job endured great pain. He lost everything.  His friends turned their backs on Him.  There were often times when He wanted to give up, but God… God restored Job back to where he started. 

Joseph was placed into slavery by his brothers.  YES! His flesh and blood sold him away and turned their backs on him.  Everywhere that Joseph went from that day forward God showed him favor.  When he finally reconnected with his brothers they didn't even recognize him.  Joseph realized that God had placed him right where he was suppose to be so that he could help his family when they needed it the most. What man meant for evil, God turned it into good.

So my key take-a-ways from this journey would have to be…

-          Love man, trust God

-          Just surrender

-          Learn how to love yourself first

-          God is the answer to everything

-          True happiness begins with obedience

-          Everything in God’s plan may not feel good, but keep the faith…

Matthew 9:29 “Because of your faith, it will happen.”

Thanks for allowing me to share a piece of my world with you this month.  Don’t forget to show someone LOVE throughout your day and I hope that God has spoken to you in some form or fashion along the way.

Be blessed and thanks again,

Christy

31 Letters – Letter #30

To: My 30-year-old self

From: Me

“Reflecting on the year of 30”

It hasn't been very long since we crossed paths (29 days ago or Oct. 2nd to be exact), so many of the things I will tell you are still fresh on the brain. 

During the year of 30, God revealed to you His master plan for your life.  He literally opened your eyes to show you a world that somehow had been hidden to you all this time.  There are a lot of things that you probably wanted to try out or adventures that you wanted to experience, but God…God has a way of placing you exactly where He wants you to be. 

Greatness is where you are headed.  I think that it was easier to write to you at 21 because there were so many lessons and so many years of experiences to discuss.  In this one year you took a leap of faith of allowed God to direct your steps. 

You learned that no job, man, woman, or child can define you.  God is the captain of your ship, the author of your life, the man of your house and the King of your Kingdom.  In order to be transformed you realized that transformation starts from within.  You realized that old hurts can no longer harm you.

There is a pile of broken bricks and God has shown you just how to lay them in place.  The foundation of every house must be laid so that all other entities may stand strong.  God showed you your foundation. 

God showed you the babies that have been neglected, hurt, and mistreated by the enemy.  You have seen the dark cloud that is engulfing our men into sin.  And you have seen the women who are hurting and verbally abusing one another all because they lack the love of their Father.

Green is your color.  He has set you out in front of the pack not for you to be timid and afraid, but to stand firm on your beliefs and tell others about His grace.  There were those along the way that doubted you.  There were those along the way that turned their back on you.  There were those along the way who mocked you, but they don’t see what you see.  There is a race to be run and my friend, God has shown you that leaders run from the front.  No matter how hard it seemed to push through the pain you did it!  You made incredible strides in a short amount of time.  The beautiful part about it is that God has only shown you a snippet of what He has in store.  The most important lesson here is to just surrender… It’s a simple statement, but can be a very difficult path. 

You are special.  You are a divine creation embarking upon a new beginning.  NO ONE can take that away from you.

 

You did good!  Now bring on 31!!!

31 Letters - Letter #29

REPOST from Joyce Meyer's "Hearing from God Each Morning" 

The Foundation of Happiness 

All has been heard; the end of the matter is: Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is] and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of His creation, ... the foundation of all happiness...] and the whole [duty] for every man. (ECCLESIASTES 12:13) 

The writer of Ecclesiastes was a man who literally tried everything to be happy.  He had much wealth, great power, and many wives.  He restrained himself from no earthly pleasure.  Anything his eyes desired, he took. He ate, drank, and made merry.  He had tremendous knowledge, wisdom, and respect, yet he hated life.  Everything began to appear useless to him.  He tried to figure out what life was all about and became more and more confused.

Finally, he realized what his problem had been all along.  He had not been obeying God's commandments.  He was unhappy because of it and made the statement that the foundation of all happiness is obedience.

There are many, many sad, grieved individuals walking around blaming their unhappy lives on people and circumstances, failing to realize that the reason for their dissatisfaction is their disobedience toward God.
I believe you want to be happy.  The key to happiness is obeying God.  Ecclesiastes 12:13 says that obedience is "the adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances."  That means that anything out of order or harmony got that way through disobedience and only obedience can bring it back into harmony.  Every time we obey God, something in our lives improves.

GOD'S WORD FOR YOU TODAY: Set your mind to obey God in all things and your joy will increase.

31 Letters – Letter #28

The difference between some man, your man, or your Father… (Part 2)

In the last letter, we were introduced to Priscilla.  She was a very young girl who wanted love and confirmation from her father, however, received ridicule and neglect.

Now before we continue with Priscilla’s story let’s spend a little time breaking down today’s topic.  The difference between some man, your man, or your Father. This topic was given to me by a close friend.  Immediately I could understand where she was coming from. 

For most females no matter your race, social status, or geographic location, the first relationship with a man and most influential I might add, is the relationship with their father.  The relationship between a Father and daughter impacts her relationship with every man that she will ever come into contact with.  So ladies when you encounter ‘some man’ or ‘your man’ or ‘your father’ think about the similarities between them.  Do you generally feel more comfortable about the men that remind you of your father or do you run away from them for fear of digging up old wounds?  While you think about it, let’s hear some more of Priscilla’s story.

It had been ten years since Priscilla lived in the home of her parents.  She was now a successful business woman with her own home.  From the outside looking in people would think that she had it all together.  What people didn't know about Priscilla is that she was very alone.  She hung out with co-workers and a few folks here and there, but she had no close friends.  The truth is she didn't trust anyone, even her girlfriends. 

Things never really got better between Priscilla and her dad.  Before moving away she literally began counting down the days to when she could be released from his prison.  She dated a few guys during college, but she didn't feel as if she was good enough (skinny enough or smart enough) for the guys at her university, so before she fell in love she would bail. 

She assumed that eventually she would meet someone that she could trust and they would live happily ever after.  Unfortunately, that never happened for her.  The closer men got to her, the more withdrawn she became.  Her greatest fear was that she would wake up one day to be greeted by a man who resembled her father.  So, the only remedy for her fear was to never fall in love again.

It saddens me to hear Priscilla’s story, however, like we discussed in Part 1, the relationship between a father and daughter is crucial to how she will view herself individually as well as how she views herself with men.

Men…you won’t be a perfect father, but do take the time to show your daughter love and affection.  

If you don’t do it, who will? 

31 Letters – Letter #27

The difference between some man, your man, or your Father… (Part 1)

The relationship between a father and a daughter sets the tone for how the daughter reacts to men for the rest of her life.  If the daughter grows up in a home where her father is present physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially she will more than likely be more confident and secure in herself based on her balanced upbringing.  However, if the father is absent physically and emotionally or physically and spiritually the daughter will develop trust issues as it relates to men.  For example, if a father abandons his family during the daughter’s early years, she will do one of the following:  (1) assume that most men will leave her or abandoned her, so she hops around from man to man before they have an opportunity to leave.  (2) She will hold on tight to her man for fear that if she lets him go, he won’t return.  (3) She will build walls around her heart to protect herself from being hurt.  She longs for love or a serious relationship, but the fear of heart break and abandonment keep her bound. 

What if the father was there physically, but absent spiritually, emotionally, and financially?

Here’s a short story to provide more insight.

Once upon a time there lived a little girl name Priscilla.  Priscilla’s father was a very powerful man. He was well known and well liked by everyone that knew him.  What everyone didn't know is that once her father was home with the family he turned into an unrecognizable person.  He was angry, withdrawn, bitter, and often cruel.  He treated Priscilla’s mother as if she were a child constantly reminding her of how she didn't measure up to other women.  Priscilla loved her father as long as they were outside of the household, but once they arrived home he treated her and her siblings as if he was the ruler of a kingdom and they were his slaves. 

Before long Priscilla became very vocal standing up for not only herself, but for her siblings and her mother.  Her father would often remind her that she was a child and shouldn't speak to adults in that tone of voice.  He mocked her saying she spent all of her energy defending everyone else, but no one ever came to her aid. That statement was sad but definitely true; however, she couldn't just stand back and say nothing while those that she loved were being mistreated.   It was about this time that she informed her mother, “When I grow up I will never marry a man like that!”  And that was that.

As a family they did not pray together.  There was not much laughter and absolutely no form of affection.  Priscilla’s father spent most of his and the family’s money on bad investments.  This habit resulted in the family often going without food, lights, and other necessities.  But to the outside world Priscilla’s father was a king that could do no wrong. 

Priscilla’s story happens all too often in today’s world.  It will be interesting to see what becomes of Priscilla.

To be continued…

31 Letters – Letter #26

“Everything’s not always black & white” – Part 2

And then the ladies weighed in...And might I add had a lot more to say then the guys…

Lady #1: “Other than they like how they “look”, I really have no idea!”

Lady #2:  “I think that it may be “trendy” for some guys looking for status.  I also feel that the ladies offer them (eagerly) some benefits that us brown girls make them work a little hard for… I think that Black women are definitely a lot to handle, but not in a bad way. We have been raised in an environment where we were taught to be strong, vocal, and aggressive.  We were taught to be independent.  We were taught to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.  Often times our fathers were absent either physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially.  Either way we developed a complex over time where we felt as if we deserved the very best. And sometimes that was because of the lack of a relationship with our fathers.  I feel that love is blind. God is love and He is of all races since he created us in his image, so I am not against interracial dating or marriage.  What I am offended by is when our black men place us in a box because of one or two bad relationships.  We are strong, but we are sensitive as well and ready and very willing to be submissive to our mates.  I love black men.  Nothing like some dark chocolate… J ”

Lady #3: “Interesting question because I ask black guys that question myself, especially if I meet one that only wants to date white or hispanic women. Now there are some black men that are only attracted to white or hispanic women and just not attracted to those inside their race. Same as me I'm just not attracted to white guys. I think that some men feel that white women are more laid back, more giving in a relationship, more open sexually, less demanding. Then sometimes white women have the reputation of being doormats who tolerate bad behavior from men (the 20 something "single white female"..lol). Now understand that I don't feel that black women aren't the same, I'm more basing it on what I've been told by black men about white women. Hope this helps...”

Lady #4: “Hmmmm, I’m not sure if there is a specific reason or not but hearsay tells me that women of those races tend to be more submissive, less “lip” and more caretakers of their men.  Flip side---give me a man that is taking care of business and hell, he’ll have dinner prepared nightly with a side of ass!”

Lady #5:  Ummmm.......well, I can't speak for all, but my boo wasn't attracted to me because I'm white.   We just became good friends and got to know each other, and then fell in love.  I do think a lot of black guys that think a LOT of themselves (know how attractive they are, try to throw a lot of game at girls, etc) choose other races simply for the status.     For whatever reason, it sounds better to them to be able to brag that they were good enough to attract someone from another race.

Lady #6:  The African American culture has reared our women to be strong, independent. For so long African American women have become the back bone for our culture when the men were absent, which has allowed submissiveness to be somewhat obsolete. Men, in general, prefer leading, being able to make decisions without being challenged and majority of African American women are established, independent, and doing better than their male counterpart causing them to react and challenge them when something doesn't seem right, which brings in a level of disrespect. Every man wants to be respected, and if they don’t have respect from their significant other, problems arise. If they don’t feel respected, they can’t give the love, which causes dysfunction.

 

I feel, African American women challenge their men to be great, push them to pursue their dreams because they desire a strong man, a man they can follow, trust and depend on; but our in dependency has hindered our vulnerability and has put us as an enemy against our own men. We have taken on too much of a leadership role that many of us aren't able to be submissive and aren't able to allow our men to lead because we want their role. We want to be in control. IN contrast, some of our men have been lazy, complacent, therefore choosing women who will submit to them without pushing them to greater height and will accept them in their complacency. IN a nutshell, men choose women who will respect them.

31 Letters – Letter #25

“Everything’s not always black & white” – Part 1

I polled a few of my single guy and girl friends with a very interesting question. 

“Is there a specific reason why black guys date white or Hispanic women?”

Here were their responses…

First let’s start with the guys:

Guy #1:  “I think from my observations (the short version) whites and Hispanic women have a tradition of being more submissive to their men…taught by their mommas.  Sexual and mental they let a man be a man…”

Guy #2:  “Yeah, yall give us a headache and they don’t!”

Guy#3: “Ummm, what I typically hear is that they are more submissive & easy going than sisters.”

Guy#4: “Brothers date their peers or people they spend a lot of time with. Since you’re more likely to interact with whites (in certain professions) they’re more likely to date them as well.”

Guy#5: “No there are many reasons.  For instance white girls have always offered to buy me clothes and whatever else.  Drive their rich ass dads’ cars, ya know, obvious things that black girls wouldn’t do.  White and Hispanic girls are also perceived to be stone cold freaks.  Now I’ve never went that route because I just love me some sistas. But the average white girl isn’t as feisty, vindictive, and attitudinal.  For some guys they’ll take a white or Hispanic because their easier to handle.”

To be continued…

31 Letters – Letter #24

"Reading is fundamental" 

I’ve come to the conclusion that no one really wants to read stories with happy endings or positive messages.  In today’s world, the more drama, the better!  I promised myself that when I got up the nerve to actually write and share my thoughts with others I would change the game bringing everyone back to the fairy tales, happy endings, and inspirational messages. 

In order for me to really do this, I mean really write positive messages, I have to be sure that not only are you reading, but you’re sharing these messages with others.  So, before I go any further with this story filled with inspiration, love, and happy endings I want you to stop what you’re doing and take this vow with me.

I, (state your name), do solemnly swear to take a night off from keeping up with the housewives, hip hop girlfriends, and basketball jump-offs, to  take part in an age old ritual called…reading. Yes, I (state your name), feel that reading is fundamental.  I will take a break from updating my status on Facebook and Twitter.  I will put down my phone and stop taking bathroom pics of myself and read this very enlightening and moving message about Life. I promise to share my takeaways with others.  I promise to dig deeper into my personal creativity in an effort to tap into the gifts that were promised to me by God. 

To be continued....

31 Letters – Letter #23

Now I lay me down to sleep…

Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake.

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I pray that all my dreams come true.

Because lately all I feel is blue.

I've made my requests to you.

I hope that you can see them through.

Sometimes I want to give up though;

And hang my head so very low.

I want to shout it out so loud;

The reason why my heads not bowed.

But then like magic you appear.

Surrounding me you draw me near.

I’m back to the place where there’s no fear.

Arms stretched out I feel you here.

No more worries. No more tears.

I still Love you Lord with all my years.

So bless my mom and bless my dad.

Bless me when I’m feeling sad.

Bless the ones who did me wrong.

For it was your plan all along.

Close my eyes, to sleep I go.

Dreaming of how you love me so. 

31 Letters – Letter #22

To:  The Businessman or Businesswoman

“Freeloaders”

You just started your own business.  To save on expenses you hire “friends”, friends of the family, and even some family members.  During the first week, you notice that everyone is taking a two hour lunch break, no one makes it to work until around 9 AM even though start time is 8 AM, and everybody sprints out of the door at 5 PM.  Throughout the day you have to remind your employees that they are still at work and personal conversations and such should be limited to break times.  You try various coaching methods to help your employees understand the business need for them to be on time and quite possibly work late.  

Nothing.   

Before long you find yourself working 80 plus hours per week just to ensure that the work still gets done.  Many of your employees were not actually qualified for the positions in your company; however, you wanted to help them out because they had been going through hard times.  Nevertheless they show you no respect as their boss and even mock you when you attempt to reprimand them about their behavior. 

My mama always told me, “People will never take care of your stuff the way that they would their own.”  She was right and that goes for a book that you loan out to a friend or your very own business.

So, what do you do?

My opinion:  start over.  Shut down the business for 60-90 days (if the business won’t experience a great set back).  During this time, let go of all the current employees. Develop roles and responsibilities for each employee to abide by.  Post job vacancies and conduct interviews for each position.  Hire a third party consulting company to conduct the interview and screening process, if funds are available.  Inform former employees that they can reapply for positions, however, will have to compete with several other candidates who may be more qualified.  You may have to hire fewer employees during the early years while growing the business.  It is better to have “a few good men” then a lot of bodies taking up space but adding no real value.

Create a business strategy (if you haven’t done so already) which allows for growth over the next five years.  Identify lessons learned to eliminate any issues with employees in the future.  Don’t be overly concerned with what your former employees (friends and family members) call you in the streets.  You still have your job and had they been better employees, so would they. 

The single most important step of all is to pray.  Pray until something happens.  If God is not a part of the equation, you have failed before you even begin. 

31 Letters – Letter #21

Everybody that came with you, cannot go with you: 

Friend vs. Associate

I have been hood winked, bamboozled, and led astray time and time again by people who label themselves as ‘friends’! God opened my eyes using a method that truly hurt but I was able to see the real from the fake.  I realized that a lot of the people who called themselves my friends were actually more of associates.  They were in my life because of what I could do for them.  I didn't notice this at first. However, over time I realized that I only heard from them if they needed a ride, some money, or a hook up.  Whenever I needed them to be there for me as a friend they were nowhere to be found. 

This realization made me think about my divine assignment and where God is getting ready to take me in my life.  As much as I would love for everyone to benefit from my blessings I know that God has removed them from my life for a reason.  I know that even though they are cool and we had a great time together, ultimately they were not built for the same life as me.

God places people in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.   Once you figure out just where the people in your life fall it will be easy to either love or let go. 

31 Letters – Letter #20

Transformed

When I began this writing exercise my goal was to be transformed.  Writing for me is therapy. Writing cures me of things that I had no clue I was being affected by.  Writing gives me the space and opportunity to be uniquely me. 

I know that it is a gift from God as I use to be so afraid to write certain things in my journal even though I knew that I would be the only one reading them. 

Now, I feel that through my obedience and my divine connection with God I will not only be healed, but also transformed.

Transformation happens over time.  It is not something that you are aware of right away.  It’s kind of like waking up one morning to realize that you no longer need an alarm clock to wake you for work or how you automatically pray before bedtime.  Somewhere along the way you were transformed.

The transformation process can also hurt a great deal.  There may be bloodshed, loved ones lost, or hearts broken, but when the sun rises to welcome a new day you just know that you have been transformed.

Turning 31 or even 30 for that matter didn't bring about too many changes in my life.  At midnight I didn't all of sudden feel as if I was a new person and that my path was brand new.  No.  However, when I looked back to age 25 I realize that I had indeed changed.  I probably wouldn't like me five or six years ago.  I probably would not have wanted to be my own friend.  

The things that I've seen and gone through over the past five or six years have made me stronger and tougher.  They've also forced me to build a wall around my heart.  I am over protective of myself.  I only let certain people in certain situations get close to me. 

Someone told me on yesterday that “God is setting me up for greatness.”  It feels good to hear, but doubt often sets in when I can’t see or touch the things that have been promised to me.  I am only reminded of the hurt and pain of my past, so it is often difficult to see the positive.  That is when faith takes over.

My favorite scripture is Matthew 9:29.  “Because of your faith, it will happen.”   Simply put.  If we just believe that something will come to pass, we already have the victory.  There will be people along the way that will attempt to keep us from reaching higher, but as long as our focus is on God the sky is the limit. 

So as I embark on this period of transformation, I pray that I remove the fear, doubt, and distractions that have held me captive for so long.  It’s a trick of the devil and I refuse to allow Satan to win at anything in my life.

Be transformed today….

31 Letters – Letter #19

ON:  Writer’s Block: Fear

I am over half way through my letter writing process and somewhere along the way I developed a case of writer’s block.  This feeling is not unfamiliar to me.  Just before letter number one I felt the same way.  I’ve heard many writers talk about the various symptoms.  In a nutshell, fear is what holds most writers back from completing a piece of work.  Fear that no one will want to read their work.  Fear that none of what they write will make sense. 

I think that for me it was a case of fear and a bit of distraction.  Any time there are external forces preventing you from being creative or completing a project those forces are called distractions.  We talked about them at some point or another on my blog; however, I am not sure if we discussed pushing passed them.

Webster’s dictionary defines distractions as: 

1         The act of distracting or the state of being distracted; especially: mental confusion.

2         Something that distracts; especially : amusement <a harmless distraction>

Because I don’t like describing a word with a word I dug a little deeper to find the medical definition of distraction.

1         Diversion of the attention

2         Mental derangement

3         Excessive separation (as from improper traction) of fracture fragments

Whatever the definition one thing I know is this… once you’re distracted or off course of your assignment it can be difficult to find your way back.

What helps me is to actually write through writer’s block. Sometimes everything that I write doesn't make sense or it seems that I’m rambling, but what do you know… I’m writing again.

Thanks for being patient with me as I find my way back to the pen and paper.  

Stay tuned for #20. 

               

31 Letters - Letter #18

To: Homecoming Attendees

"What do you like most about Homecoming?"

1.       I like the fellowship.  Reconnecting with friends.

2.       The Homecoming parade!

3.       Hanging on the yard

4.       Alumni Parties

5.       Spending time with friends and family

6.       Seeing the cheerleaders

7.       Tailgating

8.       Making lasting memories

9.       Checking out the new buildings around campus

10.   Visiting old professors or instructors

11.   Cuttin up with line sisters/line brothers

12.   Mama’s cooking ( Gumbo, Red beans and rice, Chili )

13.   Watching the Tiger Marching Band and Alumni Band perform

14.   Seeing all the fans that come out to support each year

15.   None stop entertainment and fun!

16.   Being able to pretend that I’m in college again.

17.   Reminiscing!

18.   Of course the football game

31 Letters – Letter #17

To: GSU Homecoming attendees 

“17 Survival Tips for Homecoming Weekend”

1.       Stay Hydrated

2.       Get plenty of sleep...on Sunday before hitting the road.

3.       Don't go broke trying to purchase a new fit or fits for the weekend.

4.       Don't come back to Homecoming trying to "get that old thang back."

5.       Think before you drink...out of a red cup, Styrofoam container, large garbage can filled with "punch" or anything that requires a pump.

6.       Don't be the first one to fall asleep… especially among family!

7.       Act your age

8.       Be sure that you were actually invited to the tailgate party before you sit down and start eating with a purpose.

9.       Be sure to only take with you what you brought with you to Homecoming.

10.   If somebody “tap tap’s” you on the shoulder because you forgot the party hop, stroll, or strut, just sit down.  No need to make a scene.

11.   Be sure to keep enough gas in your car for all of the loops through “the Yard”.

12.   When stepping out on Friday and Saturday night.  Be sure to park in a tow free zone.

13.   The Waffle House will definitely be packed.  You may want to pick up some snacks or breakfast food just in case.

14.   Don’t go to Rabb’s. 

15.   Wear comfortable shoes

16.   Don’t start nothing…won’t be nothing…

17.   Have as much fun as possible.  Homecoming only comes around once a year, so make it count! 

Special thanks to my guest contributors… much appreciated. 

31 Letters - Letter #16

To: The GSU Fans 

Twas the night before Homecoming, when all through the house

Not a creature was sleeping, not even a mouse.

The black & gold shakers lay on the shelf with care.

In hopes that a GSU victory would soon be near.

The children were singing and chanting in their beds,  

While visions of marching bands danced through their heads.

Mama and I were in the kitchen, cooking gumbo and rice.

The annual Homecoming brunch would surely be nice.

When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,

We looked at each other wondering what could be the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the curtains and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a crowd of people screaming “Homecoming is near.”

It must have been hundreds or thousands of them;

all swaying and moving at the same rhythm.

The crowd was led by a familiar looking fellow.

He stood out front with his robe of black and yellow.

I edged closer to the man; big, bad, and bold.

That’s when I noticed his robe wasn't yellow, it was black and gold.

“You’ve forgotten who you are!” the man yelled to us.

“You are Grambling!” he stated as we looked on with honor and trust.

“Now pep for the boys during Saturday’s game.

It’s not about awards, certificates or fame!”

“You cheer for your team in any kind of weather.

We are Grambling! You must remember that forever and ever.”

And just like that he disappeared out of sight.

We were left with courage and the victory to fight!

The spirit of Grambling flows through the young and the old.

We wear it; we bleed it, the black and the gold.

There’s no room for haters.  There’s no room for fear.

Oh Grambling, Dear Grambling we do love thee dear.

Our school is like no other, so we can’t be beat!

We’re Grambling, where everybody is somebody…with a fee sheet! 

So continue to love, to cherish to fight! 

Happy Homecoming to all and to all a good night! 

31 Letters - Letter #15

To: Those that we lost

From: Me

"Gone but not forgotten"

I would be remiss, if I didn't begin with my brother Chris.

Gone at twenty-seven; that was when he went to heaven.

Earl V. left a week or so before.

The masters of music would be no more.

I wanna tell Big Momma about the places I've seen and Rodney about the dreams that I've dreamed.

Aunt Sally is gone from us too, her departure made the entire family sad and blue.

To God be the glory is what Uncle Steve would say. 

We'll keep that lesson in our hearts as we go through our day-to-day.

Paw Paw and Mama Garland are smiling down on us.

They would say, have faith, love, and don't forget to trust.

Trust God as you walk through the storms of life, for there will always be pain and strife.

Gone to soon are my classmates, schoolmates, and friends.

I can hardly wait until we meet again.

Although my heart is heavy and my eyes filled with tears,

I will always remember you throughout the years...

Peace and love always....

31 Letters - Letter #14

To: Joyce Meyer

From: Me

Thank you for being obedient in your walk. Your books, Starting Your Day Right, Ending Your Day Right, Hearing From GOD Each Morning, The Battlefield of the Mind and on and on have been such an inspiration in my life.

When I first starting reading your work I was going through a rough patch in my life. Your writings reminded me to seek God first. 

Sometimes in life we get caught up in our day-to-day routine. We forget about the basics of life. 

Thanks again for your obedience. I hope to one day have the opportunity to thank you in person.

May God bless your ministry. May it continue to thrive and flourish. 

Thanks and God Bless,

Christy Hamlin

31 Letters - Letter #13

To: The Love makers and Heart breakers (Finale)

From: Me

Daily I prayed the prayer of protection over my life. I had entered into an unknown land that reminded me of Sodom and Gomorrah. I was constantly battling my flesh while at the same time battling the pangs of my heart.

When the weather grew cold and the rain turned into ice, the black and yellow bus pulled into town and parked in the middle of the pasture where the cow grazed and the boys played… and my thoughts went back to you. 

I took a long walk to clear my mind. Once I reached the top of the hill that peered down over the sinful city, I saw you.  You were only the size of an ant from where I was standing, but I knew that it was you.  Your cat eyes met me and your smile greeted me and I boldly walked over to you just like when we first met.

“Do you remember me?”  I asked thinking back to the dark room with the balcony with your friend from south of the border waiting for us at the door.  Your eyes searched for some sign of familiarity… nothing, however, you engaged in a mediocre conversation with me until your synthetic conquest walked through the door. 

I watched you from a distance and asked my girls about you. “What has he been up to?”  I said.

“He’s a buffalo herder or a sheep gatherer.” One friend answered, but I simply gave her the side eye. 

“Girl no, he works with Bill and nem over at the Natural Forest Lake.”  Another friend answered. 

No matter what you were doing you had definitely changed.  You were now seated so far up on the podium that only a space ship could reach you. No wonder you didn't know me anymore.  I walked out into the wintry mix and glanced back at you.  Your eyes said the words that your lips were afraid to reveal.  I left you in the land of sin and deceit because the timing was off.  Not now… Maybe later. 

I blew out the candles to another year making a wish as I did and once the smoke cleared there you were.   It was like an outer body experience as I don’t recall moving my feet, but within seconds you and I stood face to face in the middle of a trail made of stones.

For the next seven days I let you back in to rediscover the place where you use to call home. Finally!  This is it! You’re the one! Dreams do come true!! 

But… somehow I found myself sitting home with a steak dinner like Zora wondering how much longer I could deal with your disappearing acts.

Silence…crickets…

15 months and seven days later I witnessed the fall of the chief of my clan which made me long for you.  That night as the sun said good night and the moon watched from afar I stepped onto my terrace and called out for you.  Beneath me on the ground you raised your voice saying my name as if I was Juliet and you were Romeo. 

Night after night you greeted me there as the night air filled my lungs and the red blood filled my veins.  I was lost again just like that, in your words, your dreams, and your thoughts. You knew exactly what to say and how to say it.  You even told me that I was the “chosen one.” 

“Why me?” I would often question you.  “Why not you?” is how you answered.  So we played this game called, “Name that dream” and quickly allowed you to get a glimpse of my heart.  And just like that…

Silence…crickets…

Then one night between old man Fred and Ms. Catherine’s house you saw me.  You came right over to me and for the rest of the night would not let me go.  You shared things about your life that you never told me before.  Your eyes were now dark brown and your hair thick and wavy. You wore a beard covering the scars that you succumbed to while working in the coal mines.

Our connection was beyond description.  I didn’t care who saw me or who saw you all I knew was that we fit! Like a latex glove to a surgeon’s hands…we fit. 

I surveyed your war wounds and you danced around the cantaloupe flavored fruit of my essence.  Your tribal mark was still there even though you no longer dressed like your clan.  You preferred more of a GQ flavor and I was feeling it. 

We watched the Arabian knights dance and sing while we prayed for the moon to stay a little longer. It was me who pulled away first.  I had to get back. I had to go.  I liked you, but you scared me.  So I bid you good night. You promised to make the twenty mile hike to visit me.  We finally parted ways and you grew smaller and smaller as my chariot pulled away.  I could still feel you on my face. I could still feel your hand in mine.  I could taste you and smell you as if you were still there.  And so… I went to sleep and dreamed of you and me… And then…

Silence… crickets…

Nope! Not again! I refused to even allow myself to be caught up in what Dr. Phil would call the “good enough for right now, but not enough for next week.”  So I distanced myself from you.  I left you there with your own dreams and I started creating my own way.

I called on God to help me see the things that were promised to me.  Unfortunately, you and your dreams weren't a part of God’s plan for me, so I had to keep it moving. 

I gained strength in knowing that I had been created especially for a purpose.  You would only be able to walk beside me when God says you’re ready.  So until then…sayonara my friend. I gotta do me.

Then God placed me in a deep sleep and revealed to me my divine assignment.  My mouth opened and then I said…

“At first, I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept thinking, how could I ever live without you by my side.  But then I spent so many nights thinking, how you did me wrong and I grew strong and I learned how to get along. And so you’re back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed that stupid lock.  I should have made you leave your key.  If I’d known for just one second you’d be back to bother me.  Go on now, go! Walk out the door, just turn around now ‘cause you’re not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one, who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did you think I’d crumble? Did you think I’d lay down and die?  Oh, no, not I, I will survive! Oh, as long as I know how to LOVE I know I’ll stay alive. I've got all my life to live; I've got all my love to give. And I’ll survive; I will survive, hey, hey!!!”

I opened my eyes as the sun showed its face and I was a survivor.  God has special plans for me.  I’ll see you again soon, but now I have to be about my father’s business.  You see I had given you way more power than any man could ever really possess.

Right now you are asleep and God won’t wake you until I am the woman that He created me to be…

Sweet dreams…