31 Letters – Letter #31

“The final letter”

Whew! It’s finally here; the final letter.  I have to admit that I didn't think that I would be able to write 31 letters.  On October 1^st I made a public announcement (via this blog) that I would write 31 letters over the next 31 days. I had no clue what I would write about or if anyone would read what I had to say.  The nerves are gone.  I've crossed a major hurdle.  Ten years ago I was two afraid to even mention that writing was something that I enjoyed.  Writing was and is my therapy.  It’s nothing like getting lost in story or a poem or whatever.  Words hurt, but they can also heal. 

I’m 28 days into 31-years-old and already I've made a huge accomplishment.  In the past, I've written a page here and a page there over the course of a few days.  I've even written a draft of a complete novel, however, I did so over the course of a year or two.  Whether you guys realize it or not you held me indirectly accountable for seeing this writing exercise through to Letter #31.  There were many times when I wanted to give up or simply just sleep, but I knew that I wouldn't be keeping my word if I backed down, so I pushed through.  Even after taking a little break for Homecoming I had to work even harder to catch up for fear of letting you down.  So, thank you for taking this journey with me.

As I reflect over the last 31 days, there were a lot of lessons learned.  First and foremost trust was a recurring theme.  Someone once told me, “Love man, but trust God.”  Often times along the way I placed my trust in man and ended up feeling hurt and disappointment.  I had to trust myself and my abilities and not worry about other people’s opinion of me.  Everybody has an opinion.  Just about everyone uses words to get those opinions out.  God is the only one who can judge so I couldn't let what I thought people would think or say about me interrupt my assignment.

In the past 31 days, it has been difficult to concentrate on anything outside of writing.  One day soon God will give me the space and opportunity to focus full-time on writing.  In the meantime, I gotta hustle like everyone else.

After trust the next theme of the month was love.  Everyone and everything needs love.  I opened the month with showing love to my little potted house plant. Which I would like to announce has several new leaves.  I didn't realize how many wonderful people I would meet along the way simply by making a decision to show love.  Some days I found it difficult to find a candidate and other days I had a hard time narrowing my picks down to a single person.  I’m ending the game with showing myself love.  It’s not arrogance or conceit.  I love me or am learning to love me as God has created me to be.  What I came to understand is that in order to love others you must first love yourself.  And in order to love yourself, you must first love God…for God is love.  With Him everything makes sense. 

I have to admit that every day over the past 31 days hasn't been great.  There were times when I was angry with God for putting in certain situations or allowing me to endure repeated hurt and pain from people who I considered friends or family.  It was difficult to endure the hurt because I felt like I was trying to do some good in the world.  I honestly thought that I was making a difference, so I couldn't understand why God would punish me. 

He wasn’t punishing me.  He was making me better.  I am a year older and a year wiser.  God has already seen my strength in times of trouble during the ages of 21 and 30, so now the challenges are getting a little bit harder.  The road is getting a little bit tougher. 

I was reminded of two bible stories:  The story of Job and the story of Joseph.  Job endured great pain. He lost everything.  His friends turned their backs on Him.  There were often times when He wanted to give up, but God… God restored Job back to where he started. 

Joseph was placed into slavery by his brothers.  YES! His flesh and blood sold him away and turned their backs on him.  Everywhere that Joseph went from that day forward God showed him favor.  When he finally reconnected with his brothers they didn't even recognize him.  Joseph realized that God had placed him right where he was suppose to be so that he could help his family when they needed it the most. What man meant for evil, God turned it into good.

So my key take-a-ways from this journey would have to be…

-          Love man, trust God

-          Just surrender

-          Learn how to love yourself first

-          God is the answer to everything

-          True happiness begins with obedience

-          Everything in God’s plan may not feel good, but keep the faith…

Matthew 9:29 “Because of your faith, it will happen.”

Thanks for allowing me to share a piece of my world with you this month.  Don’t forget to show someone LOVE throughout your day and I hope that God has spoken to you in some form or fashion along the way.

Be blessed and thanks again,

Christy

31 Letters – Letter #30

To: My 30-year-old self

From: Me

“Reflecting on the year of 30”

It hasn't been very long since we crossed paths (29 days ago or Oct. 2nd to be exact), so many of the things I will tell you are still fresh on the brain. 

During the year of 30, God revealed to you His master plan for your life.  He literally opened your eyes to show you a world that somehow had been hidden to you all this time.  There are a lot of things that you probably wanted to try out or adventures that you wanted to experience, but God…God has a way of placing you exactly where He wants you to be. 

Greatness is where you are headed.  I think that it was easier to write to you at 21 because there were so many lessons and so many years of experiences to discuss.  In this one year you took a leap of faith of allowed God to direct your steps. 

You learned that no job, man, woman, or child can define you.  God is the captain of your ship, the author of your life, the man of your house and the King of your Kingdom.  In order to be transformed you realized that transformation starts from within.  You realized that old hurts can no longer harm you.

There is a pile of broken bricks and God has shown you just how to lay them in place.  The foundation of every house must be laid so that all other entities may stand strong.  God showed you your foundation. 

God showed you the babies that have been neglected, hurt, and mistreated by the enemy.  You have seen the dark cloud that is engulfing our men into sin.  And you have seen the women who are hurting and verbally abusing one another all because they lack the love of their Father.

Green is your color.  He has set you out in front of the pack not for you to be timid and afraid, but to stand firm on your beliefs and tell others about His grace.  There were those along the way that doubted you.  There were those along the way that turned their back on you.  There were those along the way who mocked you, but they don’t see what you see.  There is a race to be run and my friend, God has shown you that leaders run from the front.  No matter how hard it seemed to push through the pain you did it!  You made incredible strides in a short amount of time.  The beautiful part about it is that God has only shown you a snippet of what He has in store.  The most important lesson here is to just surrender… It’s a simple statement, but can be a very difficult path. 

You are special.  You are a divine creation embarking upon a new beginning.  NO ONE can take that away from you.

 

You did good!  Now bring on 31!!!

31 Letters - Letter #29

REPOST from Joyce Meyer's "Hearing from God Each Morning" 

The Foundation of Happiness 

All has been heard; the end of the matter is: Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is] and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of His creation, ... the foundation of all happiness...] and the whole [duty] for every man. (ECCLESIASTES 12:13) 

The writer of Ecclesiastes was a man who literally tried everything to be happy.  He had much wealth, great power, and many wives.  He restrained himself from no earthly pleasure.  Anything his eyes desired, he took. He ate, drank, and made merry.  He had tremendous knowledge, wisdom, and respect, yet he hated life.  Everything began to appear useless to him.  He tried to figure out what life was all about and became more and more confused.

Finally, he realized what his problem had been all along.  He had not been obeying God's commandments.  He was unhappy because of it and made the statement that the foundation of all happiness is obedience.

There are many, many sad, grieved individuals walking around blaming their unhappy lives on people and circumstances, failing to realize that the reason for their dissatisfaction is their disobedience toward God.
I believe you want to be happy.  The key to happiness is obeying God.  Ecclesiastes 12:13 says that obedience is "the adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances."  That means that anything out of order or harmony got that way through disobedience and only obedience can bring it back into harmony.  Every time we obey God, something in our lives improves.

GOD'S WORD FOR YOU TODAY: Set your mind to obey God in all things and your joy will increase.

31 Letters – Letter #28

The difference between some man, your man, or your Father… (Part 2)

In the last letter, we were introduced to Priscilla.  She was a very young girl who wanted love and confirmation from her father, however, received ridicule and neglect.

Now before we continue with Priscilla’s story let’s spend a little time breaking down today’s topic.  The difference between some man, your man, or your Father. This topic was given to me by a close friend.  Immediately I could understand where she was coming from. 

For most females no matter your race, social status, or geographic location, the first relationship with a man and most influential I might add, is the relationship with their father.  The relationship between a Father and daughter impacts her relationship with every man that she will ever come into contact with.  So ladies when you encounter ‘some man’ or ‘your man’ or ‘your father’ think about the similarities between them.  Do you generally feel more comfortable about the men that remind you of your father or do you run away from them for fear of digging up old wounds?  While you think about it, let’s hear some more of Priscilla’s story.

It had been ten years since Priscilla lived in the home of her parents.  She was now a successful business woman with her own home.  From the outside looking in people would think that she had it all together.  What people didn't know about Priscilla is that she was very alone.  She hung out with co-workers and a few folks here and there, but she had no close friends.  The truth is she didn't trust anyone, even her girlfriends. 

Things never really got better between Priscilla and her dad.  Before moving away she literally began counting down the days to when she could be released from his prison.  She dated a few guys during college, but she didn't feel as if she was good enough (skinny enough or smart enough) for the guys at her university, so before she fell in love she would bail. 

She assumed that eventually she would meet someone that she could trust and they would live happily ever after.  Unfortunately, that never happened for her.  The closer men got to her, the more withdrawn she became.  Her greatest fear was that she would wake up one day to be greeted by a man who resembled her father.  So, the only remedy for her fear was to never fall in love again.

It saddens me to hear Priscilla’s story, however, like we discussed in Part 1, the relationship between a father and daughter is crucial to how she will view herself individually as well as how she views herself with men.

Men…you won’t be a perfect father, but do take the time to show your daughter love and affection.  

If you don’t do it, who will? 

31 Letters – Letter #27

The difference between some man, your man, or your Father… (Part 1)

The relationship between a father and a daughter sets the tone for how the daughter reacts to men for the rest of her life.  If the daughter grows up in a home where her father is present physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially she will more than likely be more confident and secure in herself based on her balanced upbringing.  However, if the father is absent physically and emotionally or physically and spiritually the daughter will develop trust issues as it relates to men.  For example, if a father abandons his family during the daughter’s early years, she will do one of the following:  (1) assume that most men will leave her or abandoned her, so she hops around from man to man before they have an opportunity to leave.  (2) She will hold on tight to her man for fear that if she lets him go, he won’t return.  (3) She will build walls around her heart to protect herself from being hurt.  She longs for love or a serious relationship, but the fear of heart break and abandonment keep her bound. 

What if the father was there physically, but absent spiritually, emotionally, and financially?

Here’s a short story to provide more insight.

Once upon a time there lived a little girl name Priscilla.  Priscilla’s father was a very powerful man. He was well known and well liked by everyone that knew him.  What everyone didn't know is that once her father was home with the family he turned into an unrecognizable person.  He was angry, withdrawn, bitter, and often cruel.  He treated Priscilla’s mother as if she were a child constantly reminding her of how she didn't measure up to other women.  Priscilla loved her father as long as they were outside of the household, but once they arrived home he treated her and her siblings as if he was the ruler of a kingdom and they were his slaves. 

Before long Priscilla became very vocal standing up for not only herself, but for her siblings and her mother.  Her father would often remind her that she was a child and shouldn't speak to adults in that tone of voice.  He mocked her saying she spent all of her energy defending everyone else, but no one ever came to her aid. That statement was sad but definitely true; however, she couldn't just stand back and say nothing while those that she loved were being mistreated.   It was about this time that she informed her mother, “When I grow up I will never marry a man like that!”  And that was that.

As a family they did not pray together.  There was not much laughter and absolutely no form of affection.  Priscilla’s father spent most of his and the family’s money on bad investments.  This habit resulted in the family often going without food, lights, and other necessities.  But to the outside world Priscilla’s father was a king that could do no wrong. 

Priscilla’s story happens all too often in today’s world.  It will be interesting to see what becomes of Priscilla.

To be continued…

31 Letters – Letter #26

“Everything’s not always black & white” – Part 2

And then the ladies weighed in...And might I add had a lot more to say then the guys…

Lady #1: “Other than they like how they “look”, I really have no idea!”

Lady #2:  “I think that it may be “trendy” for some guys looking for status.  I also feel that the ladies offer them (eagerly) some benefits that us brown girls make them work a little hard for… I think that Black women are definitely a lot to handle, but not in a bad way. We have been raised in an environment where we were taught to be strong, vocal, and aggressive.  We were taught to be independent.  We were taught to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.  Often times our fathers were absent either physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially.  Either way we developed a complex over time where we felt as if we deserved the very best. And sometimes that was because of the lack of a relationship with our fathers.  I feel that love is blind. God is love and He is of all races since he created us in his image, so I am not against interracial dating or marriage.  What I am offended by is when our black men place us in a box because of one or two bad relationships.  We are strong, but we are sensitive as well and ready and very willing to be submissive to our mates.  I love black men.  Nothing like some dark chocolate… J ”

Lady #3: “Interesting question because I ask black guys that question myself, especially if I meet one that only wants to date white or hispanic women. Now there are some black men that are only attracted to white or hispanic women and just not attracted to those inside their race. Same as me I'm just not attracted to white guys. I think that some men feel that white women are more laid back, more giving in a relationship, more open sexually, less demanding. Then sometimes white women have the reputation of being doormats who tolerate bad behavior from men (the 20 something "single white female"..lol). Now understand that I don't feel that black women aren't the same, I'm more basing it on what I've been told by black men about white women. Hope this helps...”

Lady #4: “Hmmmm, I’m not sure if there is a specific reason or not but hearsay tells me that women of those races tend to be more submissive, less “lip” and more caretakers of their men.  Flip side---give me a man that is taking care of business and hell, he’ll have dinner prepared nightly with a side of ass!”

Lady #5:  Ummmm.......well, I can't speak for all, but my boo wasn't attracted to me because I'm white.   We just became good friends and got to know each other, and then fell in love.  I do think a lot of black guys that think a LOT of themselves (know how attractive they are, try to throw a lot of game at girls, etc) choose other races simply for the status.     For whatever reason, it sounds better to them to be able to brag that they were good enough to attract someone from another race.

Lady #6:  The African American culture has reared our women to be strong, independent. For so long African American women have become the back bone for our culture when the men were absent, which has allowed submissiveness to be somewhat obsolete. Men, in general, prefer leading, being able to make decisions without being challenged and majority of African American women are established, independent, and doing better than their male counterpart causing them to react and challenge them when something doesn't seem right, which brings in a level of disrespect. Every man wants to be respected, and if they don’t have respect from their significant other, problems arise. If they don’t feel respected, they can’t give the love, which causes dysfunction.

 

I feel, African American women challenge their men to be great, push them to pursue their dreams because they desire a strong man, a man they can follow, trust and depend on; but our in dependency has hindered our vulnerability and has put us as an enemy against our own men. We have taken on too much of a leadership role that many of us aren't able to be submissive and aren't able to allow our men to lead because we want their role. We want to be in control. IN contrast, some of our men have been lazy, complacent, therefore choosing women who will submit to them without pushing them to greater height and will accept them in their complacency. IN a nutshell, men choose women who will respect them.

31 Letters – Letter #25

“Everything’s not always black & white” – Part 1

I polled a few of my single guy and girl friends with a very interesting question. 

“Is there a specific reason why black guys date white or Hispanic women?”

Here were their responses…

First let’s start with the guys:

Guy #1:  “I think from my observations (the short version) whites and Hispanic women have a tradition of being more submissive to their men…taught by their mommas.  Sexual and mental they let a man be a man…”

Guy #2:  “Yeah, yall give us a headache and they don’t!”

Guy#3: “Ummm, what I typically hear is that they are more submissive & easy going than sisters.”

Guy#4: “Brothers date their peers or people they spend a lot of time with. Since you’re more likely to interact with whites (in certain professions) they’re more likely to date them as well.”

Guy#5: “No there are many reasons.  For instance white girls have always offered to buy me clothes and whatever else.  Drive their rich ass dads’ cars, ya know, obvious things that black girls wouldn’t do.  White and Hispanic girls are also perceived to be stone cold freaks.  Now I’ve never went that route because I just love me some sistas. But the average white girl isn’t as feisty, vindictive, and attitudinal.  For some guys they’ll take a white or Hispanic because their easier to handle.”

To be continued…

31 Letters – Letter #24

"Reading is fundamental" 

I’ve come to the conclusion that no one really wants to read stories with happy endings or positive messages.  In today’s world, the more drama, the better!  I promised myself that when I got up the nerve to actually write and share my thoughts with others I would change the game bringing everyone back to the fairy tales, happy endings, and inspirational messages. 

In order for me to really do this, I mean really write positive messages, I have to be sure that not only are you reading, but you’re sharing these messages with others.  So, before I go any further with this story filled with inspiration, love, and happy endings I want you to stop what you’re doing and take this vow with me.

I, (state your name), do solemnly swear to take a night off from keeping up with the housewives, hip hop girlfriends, and basketball jump-offs, to  take part in an age old ritual called…reading. Yes, I (state your name), feel that reading is fundamental.  I will take a break from updating my status on Facebook and Twitter.  I will put down my phone and stop taking bathroom pics of myself and read this very enlightening and moving message about Life. I promise to share my takeaways with others.  I promise to dig deeper into my personal creativity in an effort to tap into the gifts that were promised to me by God. 

To be continued....

31 Letters – Letter #23

Now I lay me down to sleep…

Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake.

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I pray that all my dreams come true.

Because lately all I feel is blue.

I've made my requests to you.

I hope that you can see them through.

Sometimes I want to give up though;

And hang my head so very low.

I want to shout it out so loud;

The reason why my heads not bowed.

But then like magic you appear.

Surrounding me you draw me near.

I’m back to the place where there’s no fear.

Arms stretched out I feel you here.

No more worries. No more tears.

I still Love you Lord with all my years.

So bless my mom and bless my dad.

Bless me when I’m feeling sad.

Bless the ones who did me wrong.

For it was your plan all along.

Close my eyes, to sleep I go.

Dreaming of how you love me so. 

31 Letters – Letter #22

To:  The Businessman or Businesswoman

“Freeloaders”

You just started your own business.  To save on expenses you hire “friends”, friends of the family, and even some family members.  During the first week, you notice that everyone is taking a two hour lunch break, no one makes it to work until around 9 AM even though start time is 8 AM, and everybody sprints out of the door at 5 PM.  Throughout the day you have to remind your employees that they are still at work and personal conversations and such should be limited to break times.  You try various coaching methods to help your employees understand the business need for them to be on time and quite possibly work late.  

Nothing.   

Before long you find yourself working 80 plus hours per week just to ensure that the work still gets done.  Many of your employees were not actually qualified for the positions in your company; however, you wanted to help them out because they had been going through hard times.  Nevertheless they show you no respect as their boss and even mock you when you attempt to reprimand them about their behavior. 

My mama always told me, “People will never take care of your stuff the way that they would their own.”  She was right and that goes for a book that you loan out to a friend or your very own business.

So, what do you do?

My opinion:  start over.  Shut down the business for 60-90 days (if the business won’t experience a great set back).  During this time, let go of all the current employees. Develop roles and responsibilities for each employee to abide by.  Post job vacancies and conduct interviews for each position.  Hire a third party consulting company to conduct the interview and screening process, if funds are available.  Inform former employees that they can reapply for positions, however, will have to compete with several other candidates who may be more qualified.  You may have to hire fewer employees during the early years while growing the business.  It is better to have “a few good men” then a lot of bodies taking up space but adding no real value.

Create a business strategy (if you haven’t done so already) which allows for growth over the next five years.  Identify lessons learned to eliminate any issues with employees in the future.  Don’t be overly concerned with what your former employees (friends and family members) call you in the streets.  You still have your job and had they been better employees, so would they. 

The single most important step of all is to pray.  Pray until something happens.  If God is not a part of the equation, you have failed before you even begin. 

31 Letters – Letter #21

Everybody that came with you, cannot go with you: 

Friend vs. Associate

I have been hood winked, bamboozled, and led astray time and time again by people who label themselves as ‘friends’! God opened my eyes using a method that truly hurt but I was able to see the real from the fake.  I realized that a lot of the people who called themselves my friends were actually more of associates.  They were in my life because of what I could do for them.  I didn't notice this at first. However, over time I realized that I only heard from them if they needed a ride, some money, or a hook up.  Whenever I needed them to be there for me as a friend they were nowhere to be found. 

This realization made me think about my divine assignment and where God is getting ready to take me in my life.  As much as I would love for everyone to benefit from my blessings I know that God has removed them from my life for a reason.  I know that even though they are cool and we had a great time together, ultimately they were not built for the same life as me.

God places people in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.   Once you figure out just where the people in your life fall it will be easy to either love or let go. 

31 Letters – Letter #20

Transformed

When I began this writing exercise my goal was to be transformed.  Writing for me is therapy. Writing cures me of things that I had no clue I was being affected by.  Writing gives me the space and opportunity to be uniquely me. 

I know that it is a gift from God as I use to be so afraid to write certain things in my journal even though I knew that I would be the only one reading them. 

Now, I feel that through my obedience and my divine connection with God I will not only be healed, but also transformed.

Transformation happens over time.  It is not something that you are aware of right away.  It’s kind of like waking up one morning to realize that you no longer need an alarm clock to wake you for work or how you automatically pray before bedtime.  Somewhere along the way you were transformed.

The transformation process can also hurt a great deal.  There may be bloodshed, loved ones lost, or hearts broken, but when the sun rises to welcome a new day you just know that you have been transformed.

Turning 31 or even 30 for that matter didn't bring about too many changes in my life.  At midnight I didn't all of sudden feel as if I was a new person and that my path was brand new.  No.  However, when I looked back to age 25 I realize that I had indeed changed.  I probably wouldn't like me five or six years ago.  I probably would not have wanted to be my own friend.  

The things that I've seen and gone through over the past five or six years have made me stronger and tougher.  They've also forced me to build a wall around my heart.  I am over protective of myself.  I only let certain people in certain situations get close to me. 

Someone told me on yesterday that “God is setting me up for greatness.”  It feels good to hear, but doubt often sets in when I can’t see or touch the things that have been promised to me.  I am only reminded of the hurt and pain of my past, so it is often difficult to see the positive.  That is when faith takes over.

My favorite scripture is Matthew 9:29.  “Because of your faith, it will happen.”   Simply put.  If we just believe that something will come to pass, we already have the victory.  There will be people along the way that will attempt to keep us from reaching higher, but as long as our focus is on God the sky is the limit. 

So as I embark on this period of transformation, I pray that I remove the fear, doubt, and distractions that have held me captive for so long.  It’s a trick of the devil and I refuse to allow Satan to win at anything in my life.

Be transformed today….

31 Letters – Letter #19

ON:  Writer’s Block: Fear

I am over half way through my letter writing process and somewhere along the way I developed a case of writer’s block.  This feeling is not unfamiliar to me.  Just before letter number one I felt the same way.  I’ve heard many writers talk about the various symptoms.  In a nutshell, fear is what holds most writers back from completing a piece of work.  Fear that no one will want to read their work.  Fear that none of what they write will make sense. 

I think that for me it was a case of fear and a bit of distraction.  Any time there are external forces preventing you from being creative or completing a project those forces are called distractions.  We talked about them at some point or another on my blog; however, I am not sure if we discussed pushing passed them.

Webster’s dictionary defines distractions as: 

1         The act of distracting or the state of being distracted; especially: mental confusion.

2         Something that distracts; especially : amusement <a harmless distraction>

Because I don’t like describing a word with a word I dug a little deeper to find the medical definition of distraction.

1         Diversion of the attention

2         Mental derangement

3         Excessive separation (as from improper traction) of fracture fragments

Whatever the definition one thing I know is this… once you’re distracted or off course of your assignment it can be difficult to find your way back.

What helps me is to actually write through writer’s block. Sometimes everything that I write doesn't make sense or it seems that I’m rambling, but what do you know… I’m writing again.

Thanks for being patient with me as I find my way back to the pen and paper.  

Stay tuned for #20. 

               

31 Letters - Letter #18

To: Homecoming Attendees

"What do you like most about Homecoming?"

1.       I like the fellowship.  Reconnecting with friends.

2.       The Homecoming parade!

3.       Hanging on the yard

4.       Alumni Parties

5.       Spending time with friends and family

6.       Seeing the cheerleaders

7.       Tailgating

8.       Making lasting memories

9.       Checking out the new buildings around campus

10.   Visiting old professors or instructors

11.   Cuttin up with line sisters/line brothers

12.   Mama’s cooking ( Gumbo, Red beans and rice, Chili )

13.   Watching the Tiger Marching Band and Alumni Band perform

14.   Seeing all the fans that come out to support each year

15.   None stop entertainment and fun!

16.   Being able to pretend that I’m in college again.

17.   Reminiscing!

18.   Of course the football game

31 Letters – Letter #17

To: GSU Homecoming attendees 

“17 Survival Tips for Homecoming Weekend”

1.       Stay Hydrated

2.       Get plenty of sleep...on Sunday before hitting the road.

3.       Don't go broke trying to purchase a new fit or fits for the weekend.

4.       Don't come back to Homecoming trying to "get that old thang back."

5.       Think before you drink...out of a red cup, Styrofoam container, large garbage can filled with "punch" or anything that requires a pump.

6.       Don't be the first one to fall asleep… especially among family!

7.       Act your age

8.       Be sure that you were actually invited to the tailgate party before you sit down and start eating with a purpose.

9.       Be sure to only take with you what you brought with you to Homecoming.

10.   If somebody “tap tap’s” you on the shoulder because you forgot the party hop, stroll, or strut, just sit down.  No need to make a scene.

11.   Be sure to keep enough gas in your car for all of the loops through “the Yard”.

12.   When stepping out on Friday and Saturday night.  Be sure to park in a tow free zone.

13.   The Waffle House will definitely be packed.  You may want to pick up some snacks or breakfast food just in case.

14.   Don’t go to Rabb’s. 

15.   Wear comfortable shoes

16.   Don’t start nothing…won’t be nothing…

17.   Have as much fun as possible.  Homecoming only comes around once a year, so make it count! 

Special thanks to my guest contributors… much appreciated. 

31 Letters - Letter #16

To: The GSU Fans 

Twas the night before Homecoming, when all through the house

Not a creature was sleeping, not even a mouse.

The black & gold shakers lay on the shelf with care.

In hopes that a GSU victory would soon be near.

The children were singing and chanting in their beds,  

While visions of marching bands danced through their heads.

Mama and I were in the kitchen, cooking gumbo and rice.

The annual Homecoming brunch would surely be nice.

When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,

We looked at each other wondering what could be the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the curtains and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a crowd of people screaming “Homecoming is near.”

It must have been hundreds or thousands of them;

all swaying and moving at the same rhythm.

The crowd was led by a familiar looking fellow.

He stood out front with his robe of black and yellow.

I edged closer to the man; big, bad, and bold.

That’s when I noticed his robe wasn't yellow, it was black and gold.

“You’ve forgotten who you are!” the man yelled to us.

“You are Grambling!” he stated as we looked on with honor and trust.

“Now pep for the boys during Saturday’s game.

It’s not about awards, certificates or fame!”

“You cheer for your team in any kind of weather.

We are Grambling! You must remember that forever and ever.”

And just like that he disappeared out of sight.

We were left with courage and the victory to fight!

The spirit of Grambling flows through the young and the old.

We wear it; we bleed it, the black and the gold.

There’s no room for haters.  There’s no room for fear.

Oh Grambling, Dear Grambling we do love thee dear.

Our school is like no other, so we can’t be beat!

We’re Grambling, where everybody is somebody…with a fee sheet! 

So continue to love, to cherish to fight! 

Happy Homecoming to all and to all a good night! 

31 Letters - Letter #15

To: Those that we lost

From: Me

"Gone but not forgotten"

I would be remiss, if I didn't begin with my brother Chris.

Gone at twenty-seven; that was when he went to heaven.

Earl V. left a week or so before.

The masters of music would be no more.

I wanna tell Big Momma about the places I've seen and Rodney about the dreams that I've dreamed.

Aunt Sally is gone from us too, her departure made the entire family sad and blue.

To God be the glory is what Uncle Steve would say. 

We'll keep that lesson in our hearts as we go through our day-to-day.

Paw Paw and Mama Garland are smiling down on us.

They would say, have faith, love, and don't forget to trust.

Trust God as you walk through the storms of life, for there will always be pain and strife.

Gone to soon are my classmates, schoolmates, and friends.

I can hardly wait until we meet again.

Although my heart is heavy and my eyes filled with tears,

I will always remember you throughout the years...

Peace and love always....

31 Letters - Letter #14

To: Joyce Meyer

From: Me

Thank you for being obedient in your walk. Your books, Starting Your Day Right, Ending Your Day Right, Hearing From GOD Each Morning, The Battlefield of the Mind and on and on have been such an inspiration in my life.

When I first starting reading your work I was going through a rough patch in my life. Your writings reminded me to seek God first. 

Sometimes in life we get caught up in our day-to-day routine. We forget about the basics of life. 

Thanks again for your obedience. I hope to one day have the opportunity to thank you in person.

May God bless your ministry. May it continue to thrive and flourish. 

Thanks and God Bless,

Christy Hamlin

31 Letters - Letter #13

To: The Love makers and Heart breakers (Finale)

From: Me

Daily I prayed the prayer of protection over my life. I had entered into an unknown land that reminded me of Sodom and Gomorrah. I was constantly battling my flesh while at the same time battling the pangs of my heart.

When the weather grew cold and the rain turned into ice, the black and yellow bus pulled into town and parked in the middle of the pasture where the cow grazed and the boys played… and my thoughts went back to you. 

I took a long walk to clear my mind. Once I reached the top of the hill that peered down over the sinful city, I saw you.  You were only the size of an ant from where I was standing, but I knew that it was you.  Your cat eyes met me and your smile greeted me and I boldly walked over to you just like when we first met.

“Do you remember me?”  I asked thinking back to the dark room with the balcony with your friend from south of the border waiting for us at the door.  Your eyes searched for some sign of familiarity… nothing, however, you engaged in a mediocre conversation with me until your synthetic conquest walked through the door. 

I watched you from a distance and asked my girls about you. “What has he been up to?”  I said.

“He’s a buffalo herder or a sheep gatherer.” One friend answered, but I simply gave her the side eye. 

“Girl no, he works with Bill and nem over at the Natural Forest Lake.”  Another friend answered. 

No matter what you were doing you had definitely changed.  You were now seated so far up on the podium that only a space ship could reach you. No wonder you didn't know me anymore.  I walked out into the wintry mix and glanced back at you.  Your eyes said the words that your lips were afraid to reveal.  I left you in the land of sin and deceit because the timing was off.  Not now… Maybe later. 

I blew out the candles to another year making a wish as I did and once the smoke cleared there you were.   It was like an outer body experience as I don’t recall moving my feet, but within seconds you and I stood face to face in the middle of a trail made of stones.

For the next seven days I let you back in to rediscover the place where you use to call home. Finally!  This is it! You’re the one! Dreams do come true!! 

But… somehow I found myself sitting home with a steak dinner like Zora wondering how much longer I could deal with your disappearing acts.

Silence…crickets…

15 months and seven days later I witnessed the fall of the chief of my clan which made me long for you.  That night as the sun said good night and the moon watched from afar I stepped onto my terrace and called out for you.  Beneath me on the ground you raised your voice saying my name as if I was Juliet and you were Romeo. 

Night after night you greeted me there as the night air filled my lungs and the red blood filled my veins.  I was lost again just like that, in your words, your dreams, and your thoughts. You knew exactly what to say and how to say it.  You even told me that I was the “chosen one.” 

“Why me?” I would often question you.  “Why not you?” is how you answered.  So we played this game called, “Name that dream” and quickly allowed you to get a glimpse of my heart.  And just like that…

Silence…crickets…

Then one night between old man Fred and Ms. Catherine’s house you saw me.  You came right over to me and for the rest of the night would not let me go.  You shared things about your life that you never told me before.  Your eyes were now dark brown and your hair thick and wavy. You wore a beard covering the scars that you succumbed to while working in the coal mines.

Our connection was beyond description.  I didn’t care who saw me or who saw you all I knew was that we fit! Like a latex glove to a surgeon’s hands…we fit. 

I surveyed your war wounds and you danced around the cantaloupe flavored fruit of my essence.  Your tribal mark was still there even though you no longer dressed like your clan.  You preferred more of a GQ flavor and I was feeling it. 

We watched the Arabian knights dance and sing while we prayed for the moon to stay a little longer. It was me who pulled away first.  I had to get back. I had to go.  I liked you, but you scared me.  So I bid you good night. You promised to make the twenty mile hike to visit me.  We finally parted ways and you grew smaller and smaller as my chariot pulled away.  I could still feel you on my face. I could still feel your hand in mine.  I could taste you and smell you as if you were still there.  And so… I went to sleep and dreamed of you and me… And then…

Silence… crickets…

Nope! Not again! I refused to even allow myself to be caught up in what Dr. Phil would call the “good enough for right now, but not enough for next week.”  So I distanced myself from you.  I left you there with your own dreams and I started creating my own way.

I called on God to help me see the things that were promised to me.  Unfortunately, you and your dreams weren't a part of God’s plan for me, so I had to keep it moving. 

I gained strength in knowing that I had been created especially for a purpose.  You would only be able to walk beside me when God says you’re ready.  So until then…sayonara my friend. I gotta do me.

Then God placed me in a deep sleep and revealed to me my divine assignment.  My mouth opened and then I said…

“At first, I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept thinking, how could I ever live without you by my side.  But then I spent so many nights thinking, how you did me wrong and I grew strong and I learned how to get along. And so you’re back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed that stupid lock.  I should have made you leave your key.  If I’d known for just one second you’d be back to bother me.  Go on now, go! Walk out the door, just turn around now ‘cause you’re not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one, who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did you think I’d crumble? Did you think I’d lay down and die?  Oh, no, not I, I will survive! Oh, as long as I know how to LOVE I know I’ll stay alive. I've got all my life to live; I've got all my love to give. And I’ll survive; I will survive, hey, hey!!!”

I opened my eyes as the sun showed its face and I was a survivor.  God has special plans for me.  I’ll see you again soon, but now I have to be about my father’s business.  You see I had given you way more power than any man could ever really possess.

Right now you are asleep and God won’t wake you until I am the woman that He created me to be…

Sweet dreams…

31 Letters - Letter #12

To: The Love makers and Heart breakers (Part 4)

From: Me 

I forgot about the God of my father.  Your home became my sanctuary.  Your words became my scriptures.  I gave you thanks when I opened my eyes.  I was swimming in a sea of you.  You were like a drug and I was addicted.  If I couldn’t have you, I went through withdrawals.  I no longer had friends.  You became my everything.  My heart could only beat when you were there next to me.

Somewhere along the way I became immune to you.  I took larger doses of you, but still I felt empty.  My heart longed for something. My heart longed for more, but you weren’t able to give it to me. And then my God, who had been silently watching me lose my mind flew down and took you from me.  I knew the day would come.  One of the D’s would be the reason my world would come crashing down and life as I knew it would never be the same. Death or distance would take you away from me.

And then it happened…  You caught the south side bus and never looked back. 

I held my chest where my heart use to be as tears streamed down my face.  I no longer recognized the person that stared back at me in the mirror.  Your path had been my path.  Your way had been my way.  Your home had been my sanctuary.  I was lost in a sea of memories of you.  You promised me that no other heart would replace that of mine, but fourscore and three moons later…

Silence…crickets…

You had forgotten me. I was dangerously in love with the idea that you would be my husband and I your wife. 

Silence…crickets…

That’s all I got from you, so I cried out to the God that I had forgotten. I wasn’t sure if He would hear me. Day after Day, night after sleepless night I called out to Him. Finally…Finally He spoke to me calling me by name.  He showed me the pathway back to His house and showed me the errors of my ways. 

And just like that life started happening.  There was still a hole in my heart, but God…pumped blood through my veins.  Slowly but surely I got my stride back.  I recognized me again, but you were never far from my thoughts.

Early one Sunday morning I rose to find that my heart had been put back in my chest, but something was different.  There was a gap where a piece of my heart use to be.  And that’s when I knew it. You kept that just for you. And I would never be the same.

So now my heart had to work much harder and pump much faster to compensate for the portion that you had stolen.  I became overly protective not trusting anyone for fear that the remaining part of me would be lost forever and I would surely die.

So even with my broken heart God opened my eyes and gave me the strength of ten men.  It’s amazing what I could do just by having faith.  

I focused on me and my life just as God had instructed.  I walked around anticipating greatness. During the sixth month of the ninth year I took a vacation near Uncle Russ’s town and I saw you there.  I barely recognized you.  You no longer hung out with Mrs. Adam’s boys, but instead you enjoyed the company of falcons, dolphins, seahawks, and vikings.  Your face had been marked by the sun like a slave in the middle of an African desert. Your body had seemed to blossom over night.  Your arms held the signature of your former clan which was in the shape of a man’s work boot. 

Your hands were soft like that of a new born baby and your smile made me feel safe and warm.  But I had to snap out of it!  You had already deceived me once.  I wasn’t going to let you do to it to me again. So, I put on my breast plate to protect the remaining pieces of my heart then God gave me a pair of discernment shades. I saw right through you.  

You moved in with one of Mrs. Adam’s sons and it wasn’t long before your animal friends forgot all about you.  You were ordinary; a regular guy.  Your muscles had awarded you with great advantages, but it all came to an abrupt end and you almost lost your mind.

I didn’t want to leave you that way, but two broken people would never work.  It was time for me to start over once and for all, so I bought a one way ticket to OC south side and never looked back.

To be continued… 

31 Letters - Letter #11

To: The Love makers and Heart breakers (Part 3)

From: Me

I never looked back…that is until you came looking for me.  You filled my head with promises that no man could ever have the capacity of keeping.  I had to rid myself of you once and for all.  You knew that it was coming, so you hid yourself from me.  I confessed my feelings to you over and over hoping that you would let it burn...let us burn. 

I traveled back to the south side with one goal in mind. “Make him feel what I felt.”  You didn’t know that I was there. You were in the middle of entertaining during one of your toga parties.  I watched you from the swings near the cypress trees. I waited until the crowd thinned and you were lost in a purple haze.  You saw me coming your way and welcomed me with open arms as if you were expecting my visit.  I wasn’t there to talk.  I wasn’t there to argue.  I passed by you and headed straight for the room with the risers.  I didn’t look you in the eye, but instead I stuck to my plan.  I had you exactly where I wanted you or so I thought.  I could see the sun slowly rising from the window of the room with the risers.  At the last moment I released you from me and ran to the front door just as the BV North side bus pulled into the courtyard.   I left you standing there in your white sheets which were now blood stained from where I had taken a 10-blade to your chest and removed my heart. 

Boom…Boom…Boom Boom…Boom.  My heart slowly started to get its rhythm again as I rode over the mountains and through the valleys to my new home tucked safe and sound within the land of the sacred cult. I became one with them learning their ways and putting out of my mind all of the terrors from my past.  Before long I dressed like them.  I talked like them.  I walked like them.  I even ate like them.  They were my new family.  I was devoted to the mission of the cult leader; however, I would often venture off to explore the nearby land where the pigs gathered to play.  I saw you there. Your eyes had been replaced with those of a cat and you hopped around on one foot like you were a wild dog during mating season.  Your arms had been branded with the symbol of your clan.  I too had been branded, but I hid my scares with my left hand when I saw you approaching.  It was a well known fact that when your kind and my kind got together no good could come from it.  You didn’t say a word.  You just stared at me with those eyes.  They were like magnets to the soles of my feet.  Before I knew it I was standing in front of you. I provided you with a numerical code so that I could be reached whenever your fingertips felt like walking.

I wore the colors of your clan in order to get passed the front gate.  You looked down on me from the balcony as the guard questioned my presence.  I pretended I was there to see someone else.  Your clan could not talk to my clan.  It was against the law.  I met you in the back of Clarie’s house which was where you were staying until the moon went to bed and the sun showed its face.  I followed you up the two flights of stairs.  I looked over the balcony where you had been watching me.  I felt uneasy. The room was dark and I could hear voices. Your drawl was thick and distinct so even in the darkness I could follow your voice to find my way. 

I couldn’t stay there with you.  You whispered sweet nothings in my ear, but I was unfazed by your gesture.  I was hypnotized by your cat eyes. And you were mesmerized by my thighs, but then I jumped up with a start and bid you good night. I had already spent far too long inside of the forbidden walls of your clan.  You walked me to the door where we were greeted by your friend from south of the border.  We took the two flights back down to where my chariot awaited me and as the calm night air kissed my face I waved good-bye to you. 

The weather grew cold and the nights grew longer, but my thoughts always went back to you.  My friend Don invited me to his house for a little get together.  Don was known for bringing displaced people in the sacred cult together with cheese, tomatoes, and tortillas. I sat Indian style on the floor, chanting, meditating, and singing the songs of my native land. Don’s front door opened and a chill fell across the room.  All I could see is a shadow of a man dressed head to toe in black.  It was you again.  You had come back to me.  From where I was seated you stood over seven feet tall like one of the giants that David once fought.  I glanced around the room and everyone was captivated by your presence, your stature, and your obvious strength.  You removed your headdress which revealed your tribal mark just beneath the waves of your tapered tresses.  You opened your mouth to smile and I covered my eyes as your light shined so bright I could barely see.  I would never be the same.

I wanted to be wherever you were.  I placed myself beneath your feet like Ruth did to Boaz at the threshing floor.  You looked at me as if there was no other woman in the world. I grabbed my chest pushing my heart back into its place.  It was too early. It was too soon.  What was going on with me?

So, my plans became your plans. My ways became your ways.  My path became your path.  Your people became my people.  It mattered not what God wanted for my life because I had found it in you.  So during the third appearance of the moon, I said the three words that had no place in my mouth, but somehow found their way to your ears. And so there we were. I had been swimming in a sea of red and white and when I rode the wave to the top I saw your redskin which was marked with a tribal curse of your father.  

And I would never be the same…

To be continued… 

31 Letters - Letter #10

To: The Love makers and Heart breakers (Part 2)

From: Me

I tried to avoid you at all cost. I would duck and dodge whenever you came around.  I spent most of my time at Mr. Stewart’s house which was near where you and your friends got your exercise.  I was determined not to let you distract me, so I read COBOL and drank JAVA because I couldn't get passed the VISUAL BASIC signs that you were not right for me. 

I spent my nights like a mad scientist in the lab researching code after code filling my brain with experiment after experiment thinking that in all this time you had forgotten me.  Then one night after hanging with J.T. and his friends there you were standing somewhere between Saturn and Uranus. I used the moon as my nightlight as I walked slowly towards you.  “Why am I so nervous?”  I whispered as my steps drew me closer to you.  You were so suave and debonair.  I smiled. You smiled. Just like that I got caught up.  As we engaged in small talk I heard a voice come from behind me.  Oops! I was just like you; a heart breaker.  How could I have forgotten about him?  He hung with Mrs. Adam’s sons just like you. He was cool and all, but he didn’t do it for me like you.  So I stood there; between my future and my past. I was speechless; a writer without words.  Karma is something else.  I tell you the truth.  This time I didn’t pray for you to be removed from me.  Nope. I had become greedy.  I already had my cake, but I had to eat it too.  So God took you from me and he took him too.  And there I stood between Saturn and Uranus looking up at the moon outside of Mr. Stewart’s house…alone and confused.

I had to get my weight down, so I changed my diet to grilled salmon and collard greens and an occasional piece of hot water corn bread.  I hung with a new crowd to help me forget about how you swept me off my feet.  Old man Wood (son of the late Mr. Jones) let me study in his backyard from time to time.  A lot of my new friends hung out there so it was cool.  We would sing, dance, and have all types of fun.  One night we took our fun to the grave digger’s house.  We sang that song by Envogue. Then I saw you from across the room.  Had you been there the entire time? I pretended not to see you, but that didn’t stop you from sending a message through the burning sand that rested beneath our feet.  I planned my escape looking for every possible exit.  I didn’t trust myself around you.  You were toxic. You were dangerous and I was like a kid who knew better than to touch a hot stove. Again, I looked for a way of escape. Outside of the grave digger’s house there was a bus marked BV North side.  I didn’t know exactly where it was taking me, but I knew that it would be far from you.  So I took that bus.  And I found myself in a different world than where I came from, but somehow you still managed to find me.  I had only told a few people of my whereabouts but your persistence gave you the upper hand. It was easy to fight you off while I was away, but when I came back to Webster there you were.  I mean everywhere I turned you were there. 

I stuck to my diet adding in some black beans from the dynasty garden.  My new friends kept me pretty busy here and pretty busy there, but you were able to still track me down.  I would run and hide but you had connections everywhere.  You even got cool with Mrs. Adam’s sons even though you lived several blocks away. You would wait for me in front of Alma’s restaurant when I got off of work.  There was nowhere to run so I entertained you just as the news reporter for the Gramblinite passed by.  He had definitely seen us there together, but we weren’t really together.  Were we? I was confused.  I ran back to Beverly Hill’s and left you to deal with the media.  Someone must have tweeted our sighting because before the moon showed its face that night I was an outcast. So I ran away like Rihanna did when Chris rearranged her face. I hid from the possibility of me and you because the reality of it was you were caught up and lost in the sauce.  You slipped up and slipped in mannnn what the heck were you thinking?

“Just breathe.”  I told myself.  I felt half crazy like that song by Musiq.  But no matter how far I traveled you always found your way back to me.  Again, I prayed.  “God, pleasssseee take him away from me!” I had given you too much power.  God was silent.  It became harder and harder for me to get you out of my head.  I had been called everything but a child of God.  I prayed harder and harder every day and then God answered my prayer. You were transferred to another territory which left me to pick up the pieces. 

I spent my days and nights hiding from the lime light waiting for the day to walk on the platform where Clinton once stood.  I avoided everyone and everything until my friend Dorothy invited me to a toga party.  This is where I saw you again.  You were some type of entertainer keeping the crowd going.  Your legs had been broken and your skin burned from the sun.  You called me “Miss Attitude”, not realizing that it was because of you that I had this attitude.  I trusted no one and nothing as far as I could see it.  While we chatted outside of the toga party the BV North side bus pulled up.  Before I boarded I wanted to spend more time with you.  You watched as I waved my pretty hair dancing to Sean Paul.  You became intimidated when I told you “I ain’t neva scared.” I had been through a lot. Nothing and no one could get to me.  I packed my bags for my trip, but not before you taught me about herbal essence, candy coated hearts, mild mannered blacks, and the natural fragrances that roamed through the air.  I liked you, but I could never tell you that.  The last time I tore my walls down they caved in on me and it took me years before I could climb out of the debris.  So, I took the BV bus and never looked back.

To be continued…