To you from me - Part I
To You
“Literally knock me over God” was my only request. “I think I’m ready to love again” I said to a
friend. It was as if my words sent a whisper to your ears and just like that
you appeared out of nowhere. Now here is
where I almost lost my balance. I
struggle daily to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground. Knowing the errors
of my past I busied myself with mundane tasks in order to avoid the thoughts of
a you and me or a me and you.
I sought counsel from the source that I have known about my
entire life, but only recently did HE and I develop a strong relationship. Once there I promised not to lose myself, I
promised to remain true to my goals, my values, and all of the plans already
laid out for my life. I interviewed you to make sure that you weren't that
measly heart-breaker rearing his ugly head again. You passed the test, but still
I found myself afraid.
I want my next to be my last, so you have to understand my
uncertainty. Then there’s the subject of
what we believe but cannot see. Although
in my eyes neither is greater than the other, it weighs heavy on my heart. What
will our foundation be? What will we
teach our children; our beautiful children with your eye lashes and my lips?
Our lives separately are not news worthy, but combine the
two and they are like a major motion picture. But I’m rooting for you
still. What if we created our own
religion and called it Love? Then we
could teach our children to love every man. Our children could see how a perfect
artist created an imperfect world. This religion called Love would allow you to
enjoy the most beautiful part of me and after seven years I could return the
favor.
What if we could create a world where there were no
titles? You were simply you and I was
me. There was no black or white, rich or poor. No fancy clothes, jobs, or cars,
just two people studying and swimming in the deep in of Love. Lying in a sea of
white from moon to moon with you is more fulfilling than any stroll along a
beach or trip across the seas. If I add one more roman number to my skin it
becomes you. The thought of your touch sends waters rushing to the most
beautiful part of me.
There’s this energy, this magnetic thing that is drawing me
close to you. I can’t put it into words. I just know that it’s different. I’m spoiled. Now I will always expect to be
treated as if no one else is around. Now I expect to be held like time stands
still. Now I expect to be looked at as if my regular face brings new life. You have to understand that all of these things
are foreign to me.
So what do we do?
We could seize the
moment, enjoying stolen kisses, glances filled with butterflies, and hearing
the murmured beat of our hearts while our brown skin mixes to the point where I
can’t tell where yours ends and mine begins. We could keep this up for ten
years. They will find you lifting me up and I right by your side as our
individual goals come to fruition and our names are raised above our heads showcasing
the sacrifices of our mothers. Will it
matter then to what we believe?
All I know is that I want you and it scares the sh!+ out of
me. I wish I could bottle up your kisses
and sip on them whenever I was thirsty for you.
I tried my best to memorize your face but all I can remember is how you
made me feel there in that place where tribes once fought and for twelve years
men were slaves.
You’ve ruined me for
all other men so you can either take me with you on this journey called life or
drop me off at the corner of shoulda and woulda. We can either do something or nothing at all.
But for now I’ll just wait. Wait to see what your conscience
and my God suggest that we do. I’m cheering for you to be great and sh!+.
From me
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