31 Letters – Letter #28

The difference between some man, your man, or your Father… (Part 2)

In the last letter, we were introduced to Priscilla.  She was a very young girl who wanted love and confirmation from her father, however, received ridicule and neglect.

Now before we continue with Priscilla’s story let’s spend a little time breaking down today’s topic.  The difference between some man, your man, or your Father. This topic was given to me by a close friend.  Immediately I could understand where she was coming from. 

For most females no matter your race, social status, or geographic location, the first relationship with a man and most influential I might add, is the relationship with their father.  The relationship between a Father and daughter impacts her relationship with every man that she will ever come into contact with.  So ladies when you encounter ‘some man’ or ‘your man’ or ‘your father’ think about the similarities between them.  Do you generally feel more comfortable about the men that remind you of your father or do you run away from them for fear of digging up old wounds?  While you think about it, let’s hear some more of Priscilla’s story.

It had been ten years since Priscilla lived in the home of her parents.  She was now a successful business woman with her own home.  From the outside looking in people would think that she had it all together.  What people didn't know about Priscilla is that she was very alone.  She hung out with co-workers and a few folks here and there, but she had no close friends.  The truth is she didn't trust anyone, even her girlfriends. 

Things never really got better between Priscilla and her dad.  Before moving away she literally began counting down the days to when she could be released from his prison.  She dated a few guys during college, but she didn't feel as if she was good enough (skinny enough or smart enough) for the guys at her university, so before she fell in love she would bail. 

She assumed that eventually she would meet someone that she could trust and they would live happily ever after.  Unfortunately, that never happened for her.  The closer men got to her, the more withdrawn she became.  Her greatest fear was that she would wake up one day to be greeted by a man who resembled her father.  So, the only remedy for her fear was to never fall in love again.

It saddens me to hear Priscilla’s story, however, like we discussed in Part 1, the relationship between a father and daughter is crucial to how she will view herself individually as well as how she views herself with men.

Men…you won’t be a perfect father, but do take the time to show your daughter love and affection.  

If you don’t do it, who will?