To: The Love makers and Heart breakers (Part 4)
From: Me
I forgot about the God of my father. Your home became my sanctuary. Your words became my scriptures. I gave you thanks when I opened my eyes. I was swimming in a sea of you. You were like a drug and I was addicted. If I couldn’t have you, I went through
withdrawals. I no longer had
friends. You became my everything. My heart could only beat when you were there
next to me.
Somewhere along the way I became immune to you. I took larger doses of you, but still I felt
empty. My heart longed for something. My
heart longed for more, but you weren’t able to give it to me. And then my God,
who had been silently watching me lose my mind flew down and took you from
me. I knew the day would come. One of the D’s would be the reason my world
would come crashing down and life as I knew it would never be the same. Death
or distance would take you away from me.
And then it happened…
You caught the south side bus and never looked back.
I held my chest where my heart use to be as tears streamed
down my face. I no longer recognized the
person that stared back at me in the mirror.
Your path had been my path. Your
way had been my way. Your home had been
my sanctuary. I was lost in a sea of
memories of you. You promised me that no
other heart would replace that of mine, but fourscore and three moons later…
Silence…crickets…
You had forgotten me. I was dangerously in love with the
idea that you would be my husband and I your wife.
Silence…crickets…
That’s all I got from
you, so I cried out to the God that I had forgotten. I wasn’t sure if He would
hear me. Day after Day, night after
sleepless night I called out to Him. Finally…Finally He spoke to me calling me
by name. He showed me the pathway back
to His house and showed me the errors of my ways.
And just like that life started happening. There was still a hole in my heart, but
God…pumped blood through my veins.
Slowly but surely I got my stride back.
I recognized me again, but you were never far from my thoughts.
Early one Sunday
morning I rose to find that my heart had been put back in my chest, but
something was different. There was a gap
where a piece of my heart use to be. And
that’s when I knew it. You kept that just for you. And I would never be the
same.
So now my heart had to work much harder and pump much faster
to compensate for the portion that you had stolen. I became overly protective not trusting
anyone for fear that the remaining part of me would be lost forever and I would
surely die.
So even with my broken heart God opened my eyes and gave me
the strength of ten men. It’s amazing
what I could do just by having faith.
I focused on me and my life just as God had instructed. I walked around anticipating greatness.
During the sixth month of the ninth year I took a vacation near Uncle Russ’s
town and I saw you there. I barely
recognized you. You no longer hung out
with Mrs. Adam’s boys, but instead you enjoyed the company of falcons,
dolphins, seahawks, and vikings. Your
face had been marked by the sun like a slave in the middle of an African
desert. Your body had seemed to blossom over night. Your arms held the signature of your former
clan which was in the shape of a man’s work boot.
Your hands were soft like that of a new born baby and your
smile made me feel safe and warm. But I
had to snap out of it! You had already
deceived me once. I wasn’t going to let
you do to it to me again. So, I put on my breast plate to protect the remaining
pieces of my heart then God gave me a pair of discernment shades. I saw right through you.
You moved in with one of Mrs. Adam’s sons and it wasn’t long before your
animal friends forgot all about you. You
were ordinary; a regular guy. Your
muscles had awarded you with great advantages, but it all came to an abrupt end and you almost lost your mind.
I didn’t want to leave you that way, but two broken people
would never work. It was time for me to
start over once and for all, so I bought a one way ticket to OC south side and
never looked back.
To be
continued…
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