Thursday, October 11, 2012

31 Letters - Letter #11


To: The Love makers and Heart breakers (Part 3)

From: Me

I never looked back…that is until you came looking for me.  You filled my head with promises that no man could ever have the capacity of keeping.  I had to rid myself of you once and for all.  You knew that it was coming, so you hid yourself from me.  I confessed my feelings to you over and over hoping that you would let it burn...let us burn. 

I traveled back to the south side with one goal in mind. “Make him feel what I felt.”  You didn’t know that I was there. You were in the middle of entertaining during one of your toga parties.  I watched you from the swings near the cypress trees. I waited until the crowd thinned and you were lost in a purple haze.  You saw me coming your way and welcomed me with open arms as if you were expecting my visit.  I wasn’t there to talk.  I wasn’t there to argue.  I passed by you and headed straight for the room with the risers.  I didn’t look you in the eye, but instead I stuck to my plan.  I had you exactly where I wanted you or so I thought.  I could see the sun slowly rising from the window of the room with the risers.  At the last moment I released you from me and ran to the front door just as the BV North side bus pulled into the courtyard.   I left you standing there in your white sheets which were now blood stained from where I had taken a 10-blade to your chest and removed my heart. 

Boom…Boom…Boom Boom…Boom.  My heart slowly started to get its rhythm again as I rode over the mountains and through the valleys to my new home tucked safe and sound within the land of the sacred cult. I became one with them learning their ways and putting out of my mind all of the terrors from my past.  Before long I dressed like them.  I talked like them.  I walked like them.  I even ate like them.  They were my new family.  I was devoted to the mission of the cult leader; however, I would often venture off to explore the nearby land where the pigs gathered to play.  I saw you there. Your eyes had been replaced with those of a cat and you hopped around on one foot like you were a wild dog during mating season.  Your arms had been branded with the symbol of your clan.  I too had been branded, but I hid my scares with my left hand when I saw you approaching.  It was a well known fact that when your kind and my kind got together no good could come from it.  You didn’t say a word.  You just stared at me with those eyes.  They were like magnets to the soles of my feet.  Before I knew it I was standing in front of you. I provided you with a numerical code so that I could be reached whenever your fingertips felt like walking.

I wore the colors of your clan in order to get passed the front gate.  You looked down on me from the balcony as the guard questioned my presence.  I pretended I was there to see someone else.  Your clan could not talk to my clan.  It was against the law.  I met you in the back of Clarie’s house which was where you were staying until the moon went to bed and the sun showed its face.  I followed you up the two flights of stairs.  I looked over the balcony where you had been watching me.  I felt uneasy. The room was dark and I could hear voices. Your drawl was thick and distinct so even in the darkness I could follow your voice to find my way. 

I couldn’t stay there with you.  You whispered sweet nothings in my ear, but I was unfazed by your gesture.  I was hypnotized by your cat eyes. And you were mesmerized by my thighs, but then I jumped up with a start and bid you good night. I had already spent far too long inside of the forbidden walls of your clan.  You walked me to the door where we were greeted by your friend from south of the border.  We took the two flights back down to where my chariot awaited me and as the calm night air kissed my face I waved good-bye to you. 

The weather grew cold and the nights grew longer, but my thoughts always went back to you.  My friend Don invited me to his house for a little get together.  Don was known for bringing displaced people in the sacred cult together with cheese, tomatoes, and tortillas. I sat Indian style on the floor, chanting, meditating, and singing the songs of my native land. Don’s front door opened and a chill fell across the room.  All I could see is a shadow of a man dressed head to toe in black.  It was you again.  You had come back to me.  From where I was seated you stood over seven feet tall like one of the giants that David once fought.  I glanced around the room and everyone was captivated by your presence, your stature, and your obvious strength.  You removed your headdress which revealed your tribal mark just beneath the waves of your tapered tresses.  You opened your mouth to smile and I covered my eyes as your light shined so bright I could barely see.  I would never be the same.

I wanted to be wherever you were.  I placed myself beneath your feet like Ruth did to Boaz at the threshing floor.  You looked at me as if there was no other woman in the world. I grabbed my chest pushing my heart back into its place.  It was too early. It was too soon.  What was going on with me?

So, my plans became your plans. My ways became your ways.  My path became your path.  Your people became my people.  It mattered not what God wanted for my life because I had found it in you.  So during the third appearance of the moon, I said the three words that had no place in my mouth, but somehow found their way to your ears. And so there we were. I had been swimming in a sea of red and white and when I rode the wave to the top I saw your redskin which was marked with a tribal curse of your father.  

And I would never be the same…

To be continued… 

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